Brad puts on a poncho. Tanner P has some kind of leopard-spot vest and a crumpled hat. He's either the grizzled old prospector or the town drunk.
So then the guys get their "scripts" for this "movie" that people are totally going to "see," and Mark's excited because he sees that he gets to kiss Jillian, and then finds out that pretty much everybody gets to kiss her. Well, except for Mike and Michael, who apparently are playing gay cowboys. They get upset about that, but do the thing where they act chagrined up to the point where they're not really being homophobic about it, you know? They practice their lines: "We could've had a good life together. Had a place of our own. But you wouldn't do it. And all we've got now is the mountain," reads Mike from his script. Which means they've ripped off Brokeback Mountain's actual script, minus any identifying proper nouns.
Oh, god, this is painful. Brad gets to kiss Jillian first. Well, first today, as far as we know. It's a scene where he rescues Jillian from being kissed unwillingly by some bad guy, and then punches him out and kisses her himself. He tells us it was an amazing kiss. On the badass scale, in fact, he places himself above "badass" and "superbadass," all the way up at "ultra-badass." The other guys, though, do not share Brad's opinion of the kiss. Michael points out that Brad's arms are straight down at his sides while Jillian clutches them. It's true. Tanner P. says it looked like he was kissing his sister. He also says it was the worst kiss he's seen "since 1988," whatever the hell that's supposed to mean.
So then there are more scenes, all of which seem to involve Jillian kissing whoever happens to be in the room. It's kind of like hardcore porn, except less romantic and with worse acting.
Robby seems to do a good job with his scene, picking her up and swinging her around. Jillian herself seems to think it was the most non-acting kiss that happened, which is surprising, because I'm pretty sure she didn't have any saliva left by that point.
And then Wes makes some more enemies (someone complains that he's not there for the right reasons) by taking away Jillian to tell her how hard it is to watch her kissing everybody, and he jokes that it's not like she's cheating on him, but she sort of is, and then a clueless Jillian tells us it seems like Wes already thinks she belongs to him, and that it's cute that he's jealous. Jesus Christ! It's like she lives in an Archie comic book!