Keith. Keith has a ponytail.

Cory is a twenty-four-year-old "small business owner" (pyramid scheme) from Ship Bottom, New Jersey. What are these adorably named towns everyone is from? Why not just go all the way with it and find people from "Brigadoon" and "The Land Of Happy, Happy Make-Believe" whose jobs include "dancing in tall grass with sylphs" and "tending to the grove of yum yum trees" and be done with it already.

Limo Three! Limo Three!

Chad has a motto. And his motto is "life is short." I'll call Bartlett and let Bartlett know it's not Barlett's motto anymore. Because I feel like I've heard that one in the...well, never mind. Chad is thirty-two. Chad is from Buffalo, where the wings come from (that's right! The wings aren't actually made of buffalos!). Chad...is in pharmaceutical sales. Also, his father died, so technically he would have been better suited for last season's crop. I think he starts to cry a little during his confessional. Anyone got a read on that? He is, by Meredith's description, "ta-all!" He tells her that she's tall as well. Er, Chad? I'd tread lightly in the whole pointing-out-a- girl's-physical- attributes-from-the- moment-you- meet-her thing, okay? You read me loud and clear, Stretch?

Andy calls to mind an absolutely horrible joke my sister once told me about over-the-counter headache medication. But I can't tell you what it is or I'll get fired.

Todd is thirty-six (see ya, Todd), a -- get this wording -- "Brew Pub Owner" from San Fran. Dude works at a bar. And there's nothing wrong with that. But...brew pub owner? How many words does "suds jockey" really require?

Eliot is maybe 2\% gay.

Aaron's got some clown blood in him, most apparent from his clowny face.

When Marcus made his appearance, the four women I was watching this show with (do I know how to host a bash, or what?) immediately deemed him foxy. He's tall and built and a personal trainer from L.A. He's also the lone African-American contestant this season. Pack your bags in Episode Three, Marcus. Or prove me wrong, Meredith. PROVE ME WRONG.