Sevilla again. This time it's Ed's turn. She reminds us that he has to play catch up since she didn't get to meet his family. He's just happy to be back. His hair looks less dopey somehow. They go on a carriage ride. He tells her that he's not the assertive type, so he's worried he didn't stand out at the beginning. He came back because he just wanted to give them a chance. He says the same crap he said last week. He doesn't mention things that I want to know. Like if he's going to get fired for going back to this stupid show instead of doing his IT thing. If the people at his real job made fun of him for going on this show. If he actually asked to come back or if the producers made him. Important things like that. She grills him about his family. She realizes they are behind, but the irresponsible part of her just wants to make out with him. Isn't all of her kind of irresponsible? They are making out in a fountain for crissakes. The locals are looking at them like they are idiots. She's looking for love on this show. AGAIN! She didn't learn the first time. She judges guys by their taste in hot dogs. Where's the responsible part of her exactly?
Jillian and Ed at night. She says she's been going on her dates with a list of questions, but she just needs to get to know Ed more in general. She tries to spin his absence in a good way, because she thinks that they can open up more now. Nice try, Jill. He talks about her hypothetically living with him in Chicago. He says that he adores kids, but he's not actually looking at her while he's talking. He's sort of staring into space. It's kind of weird. Fantasy suite time. He says that he'd like to spend the night with her. He frowns as she gives him the whole she'd like to wait speech. He tries to cover and say he would just like to spend more time with her. She keeps talking about not being ready to "go there" because clearly she doesn't want to say sex, but decides to go to the fantasy suite with Ed... but just to talk and get caught up. She can talk to Kiptyn about his junk being smooshed, but she can't say the word sex? I only just started watching this show last year -- is admitting to having sex with guys against Bachelorette protocol?
In the fantasy suite, they hop on the one bed and cuddle and talk. It's a pretty amazing room. She reiterates that they are sleeping in their clothes, but they are very snuggly. Doesn't look like they'll be doing much talking...
Barcelona. Wes is fired up because he's never been to Barcelona and doesn't know much about the music scene there. Wait, what? All the other guys have talked about how Spain is gorgeous and they want to hook up with Jillian. Wes goes on to regale us with tails about a song he wrote about Mexico. He feels at home living around Spanish people. Can someone please point out that Spanish people and Mexican people are NOT the same? If he wasn't already on my last nerve this would push me over the damned edge. Jillian says she wants to spend time with him, to figure out if they are right together. She's trying to put aside that whole Jake thing. He fishes for compliments. She giggles. They ride bikes around the city and annoy locals with their little bells. They stop at a gazebo for a little chat, which is sort of Jill's version of the Spanish Inquisition. Less torture for him, but more torture for those of us who have to watch. She's confused because he isn't crawling all over her like the other guys. She wants to know if he'd move to Vancouver for her. He thinks that would be crazy. She asks how they'd make it work, he points to a bird missing a leg in the park. Then he spills a drink all over the place. Jill, please take note of the GIANT warning signs that are flashing at you.
Wes's evening date. Oh boy. I can't freaking wait for the fantasy suite card. Ugh. She looks fabulous in a red dress. He looks like a schlub in beat up jeans and an ugly denim shirt. She thinks he's really distant. She considers him a bad boy singer and doesn't care what people think, but she wants to be able to defend her choices. Oh, it is far too late for that. He says that he doesn't have a girlfriend, but he doesn't deny that this show is good for his career. He admits that going on this show was his manager's idea. OK. Let's take a minute here, is this show actually going to be good for his career? Playing (or showing the world that he actually is) a sleazy douche on TV is going to convince people to buy his records how? I'd like to think that the people watching this show would be smart enough to catch on to his act. Why on earth would someone want love songs from a cheating ass. Plus, the songs that he's played on this show have been pretty much terrible, so I'm very confused by this whole logical leap.
Back to Jillian and Wes. She wants to know why he didn't kiss her when he met her in Spain. He stares at her with the blankest expression ever. He tries to say that he was worried that she didn't want kisses. He says he's a one-woman guy. Which woman would that exactly be? She actually raises a good point and says that she's not going to pick a guy she has no physical connection with. She says that she had some concerns about his motives, but she wants to make sure he actually has feelings for her. He says that he's looking out for numero uno. Figures, the one guy who can actually utter a Spanish phrase is a total ass. Jillian asks why Laurel is so important. He says she's one of his best friends. Jillian wants to know the details about why they split. He gives very short answers. Jill wants to better understand why Jake said what he said, so she asks Wes to pretend that she's Jake and tell her the story. He says his girlfriend... long pause ... er ex-girlfriend ... long pause. Jillian sighs. At this point, the fantasy suite card arrives. Wes says he thinks they should take advantage of it. What the Hell?!?!? She finally realizes he's the scumbag we've seen all season and tells him that she thinks they should skip it. He actually looks disappointed. Jillian interviews that she realizes that he's been keeping secrets and she feels sorry for him. Their date ends abruptly.
Rose ceremony time. It seems pretty unnecessary... Right? Right? Wait, she says it is a hard rose ceremony for her... what does that mean? Oh, wait, she says she's never been more sure about who she should send home. Thank god. She had me worried there for a second. Kiptyn tells the guys if he goes home that he hopes they all keep it real. I just love it when Kiptyn tries to be hip. It is so ridiculous that it makes me laugh. Repulsive Wes says that if it is him that they should think of him at home where he'll be having lots of sex. He laughs as the other guys physically try to stand as far away from him as possible. Don't worry fellas, I don't think asshole is contagious... unless you are Laurel. Jillian wears this hot little super short strapless dress with feathers on the bottom! Feathers! Hell yes! She tells them she had a great week in Spain and felt really special and loved. She doesn't say that she had the worst date with Wes. Did Chris not get to make the trip to Spain? He hasn't shown up yet. That sucks for him. He's got the worst job on television and he doesn't even get a free trip to Europe? Not nice, ABC.
Jill picks Ed for the first rose. Reid for the second, who looks like he's going to cry. Poor little Kiptyn looks nervous. I never noticed the big ears that he has. How did that pass me by? Guess I always got distracted by his stupid name and his rockin' nine-pack. Wes just stares like a moron. Jillian asks if she can walk him out. Punch him. PUNCH HIM! Just a little slap. Something. Ream him out! Please? For me? Damn. She doesn't say anything, just hugs him and waves. She interviews that she wanted to wait until after his hometown visit to kick him to the curb, because she wanted to make sure that she made the right decision and Jake wasn't lying. Again, what did Jake have to gain from l