Rose ceremony, a little more crowded than usual. Not that this really means it's some sort of historical first, as Chris Harrison would have us believe, but anyway. Jillian comes out, and says she always hated it when the person would have the little "heart-to-heart" when they get up there. Then that's just what she does, babbling about how wonderful they are and how hard this is.
And now, the roses: Jakethepilot. Jesse the wine guy. Wes the musician, naturally. Mathue the personal trainer. Michael the breakdancing instructor. Robert the... I forget what this guy does. Ed the technology consultant. Reed the guy who, um, I forget him, too. He pretends to think about whether he wants a rose or not. Simon the guy who speaks English yet "needs" subtitles. Kiptyn, the guy named Kiptyn. Mike, the "great catch" guy who really deserved to be going home for that cheeseball line alone. Brian B., the redneck IT consultant who called her "Hot Tub Harris." Sasha the Serb. Julien donkey-boy. Tanner P., the... man, there are too many. I'm just going to say their names. Mark. Brad. He tells her she doesn't have to wait so long next time before giving him a rose. Tanner M. Oh, come on! Shouldn't there be a rule against having more than one Tanner? Last rose goes to Juan, which means receding hairline Stephen doesn't make it. More important, Greg the Billbro doesn't make it! Hug it out, Billbro. Man, the guys are awfully huggy considering they only just got to know each other. John P. says he was crushed, because he honestly thought they were soul mates. She seemed like the girl version of him. Stephen didn't see it coming. Did you forget to tell her you just graduated from law school? "Maybe she doesn't like awesome guys," he says. I don't think that's it, actually. John H. says she's missing out on getting to know a really genuine guy. So wait, no 'roid-rage clips of Billbro's reaction to being rejected?
They have some clips of what's coming up this season, but it's going to painful enough to recap them when they actually happen, so now I'm going to watch the season finale of 24. One thing I think we can all agree on: it's going to be the most recent season of The Bachelorette EVER.
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