Bachelorette

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Chris Harrison comes in to say that the response to her being the Bachelorette was so overwhelming, that they're doing something unprecedented. He brings in five new guys. Yes, instead of the arbitrary 25 bachelors, as per the usual rules of this show, it's going to be 30 bachelors! As bombshells go, it's not exactly Hiroshima. But the first 25 bachelors react like this is some kind of egregious betrayal of societal norms.

"Fellas, the competition was tough. It just got tougher," says Chris, adding that the next time he sees them, it will be at the rose ceremony. Jillian comes over to meet the new guys, joking that she feels like she's cheating on her 25 guys.

The new guys, introduced quickly, are: Ed, Bryce from Fort Lauderdale, Reed from Philadelphia, Mike, and another Tanner, this one from Dallas. Mike tells her to take a step back, which she does, and then he throws her a baseball. She catches it. "Wow. You are a great catch," he says. Everyone in the room rightfully groans at that. Seriously, Chris Harrison should have stepped in and said, "I'm sorry. You are immediately disqualified for that cornball line." Ed, 29, is a technology consultant from Chicago, who says that he thinks they're playing a little bit of catch-up with Jillian. He sits down for some one-on-one time, and he talks about how up until now he's been focusing on his career, instead of love. She relates to that. He says he feels like she's very outgoing, admitting that all he knows about her, he knows from his family.

Inside, Stephen laments that he hasn't had any one-on-one time, and some of the guys are feeling like the addition of five new guys will make it all the tougher to spend some time with her. One of the new guys, Tanner P., 30, a financial consultant from Dallas, figures all the other guys have had plenty of time to get to know her, so he's going for it. Oh, and he's got a foot thing, so his goal is to see her feet. He figures he can know if he wants to marry someone within ten seconds of seeing their feet. Outside, he casually suggests that they take their shoes off and dip their feet in the water, while in an interview, he lists off all the things he's looking for (high arches, painted nails) and things he's not (crooked toes, eagle claw. I agree, a woman with eagle feet would be disconcerting). In an interview, Jillian says she felt really comfortable with Tanner, because she could just take her shoes off and relax.

Someone else comes in to dry off her feet, which pisses off Tanner. But good news, Jillian! Tanner has deemed your feet to be worthy of his love! More sniping and backbiting by the guys, with a lot of the vitriol directed towards Mike and his brutal "you are a great catch" line. It would be so nice to see a fistfight. Can't they get a little bit drunker?

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Bachelorette

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