Bachelorette

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And with Kyle and his "arty talk" pissing Brian off, he says he decided to go the other way and show her that he's just a "redneck from Alabama." Guy, you're an I.T. CONSULTANT. But he starts talking to her about trailer parks. "That's just how we roll." He says something about all the energy and "ethnicity" in New York. As for him, his ethnicity is "honky." For some reason, this makes Kyle tell him about a Peruvian relative. For some reason, that makes Brian talk about giving Kyle a waffle iron to the face.

Thank god, someone comes to break it up. Unfortunately, he picks her up and carries her outside to sit by the pool. Jillian says she could get used to being swept off her feet all the time. I think it'd be annoying.

Then Wes decides it's time to "whup some ass" and gets out a guitar to play her a song he wrote about how crazy it is to fall in love in just six weeks. It's his "love don't come easy" song, and of course all the guys who don't play instruments (or at least the ones who in high school thought band class was for fags) think this is dirty pool. The financial advisor is all, "Come on, guitar? Really? You gotta bring that out? You can't just be yourself the first night?" Well, he is a musician. Maybe you'll get lucky, and your offer to do her taxes will make her want to take off her dress for you.

Thank god one of the guys acknowledges that it takes guts to do that. "Yeah, but that's what he does," says another. Wes finishes up, and Jillian says he just found her weak spots. In an interview, she says all these guys are doing all these crazy things to get her attention, and she didn't expect to have a "mini-connection" with so many guys.

Then the breakdancing instructor does his thing and decides to teach her some moves. "It's cheesy, but I kinda fell in love a little bit," says Michael, because despite her being all dolled up, she kicks off her heels and gives it her best shot. Then he does a hilarious impression of Billbro coming in and saying it's time to do battle. "It's go time," says Billbro. And they have a... dance-off? What? Michael's clearly the better dancer, but Billbro's better than you think. He's nowhere near as good as he thinks he is, but he clearly thinks he's amazing at everything. Jillian calls it "surreal" that all these guys want to talk to her.

Then David takes some time to talk to her, and Jillian teases him about getting all tongue-tied when they met, saying that he did it to make himself stand out. They have a nice little conversation, and he's pleased because he thinks she got to know a little bit about who he is.

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Bachelorette

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