Bachelorette

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Daniel: D | 1248 USERS: C+
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With This Ring, I Thee Ed

Back to Kiptyn, who blah blah blahs some more while he gets dressed, and Ed does the same. Jillian lays out her dress and talks about her "incredible journey" again, and then the guys are blah blah blahing, and then there is a limo ride, and Jillian says some stuff about love, and Kiptyn says today is a beginning not an end, like OH NO, THIS IS THE GODDAMN END, I PROMISE YOU, and then Ed informs us that marriage is a huge decision, because what institution treats marriage more seriously than The Bachelorette?

And then Harrison is welcoming Jillian out of the limo and telling her not to be so nervous, because she knows what she wants, and then she strolls along a boardwalk across a pool to take her place at Proposal Point, surrounded by flowers. "I am here looking for the person to spend the rest of my life with. I have so much love to give. It's real, honest, true, unconditional," she says, adding that normally she'd be scared, but she's confident that she's found the person to take a "leap of faith" with.

Jillian says it's weird to think today will be one of the very best days of her life, which makes me feel really sorry for Jillian. Anyway, the limousine pulls up, and first out is Kiptyn. Harrison welcomes him and leads him through the lobby or whatever and Kiptyn says being around Jillian is "a buzz," which had me laughing so hard I didn't hear the rest.

He goes out and joins Jillian on Proposal Point, and then he just starts babbling on about all the awesome things they've done, and he's excited, and he wants to have kids and get married and he thinks he'd be the luckiest man to have that. "I love you. And I want to spend this life with you," he says. Uh, is that a proposal? Jillian looks pained. Uh-oh. And then she talks about how he's so awesome and is everything she's looked for. Only "emotionally it's been slower," and then she admits she's fallen in love with someone else. I guess that must have just happened, because up until now she's been saying she's in love with two guys. Kiptyn says it hurts a lot, but he tells her that he wants her to be happy. He hugs her. She cries and says she's sorry. Well, she should be! After all, he wants marriage and definitely could see her being the one that he might consider falling in love with! He says Ed's a lucky man.

She walks him down the walkway and out into the limousine, and he drives off. He reaches into his jacket for the ring that he DIDN'T ACTUALLY PROPOSE WITH and he says he didn't pull out the ring, because he thought she was going to say something after he babbled on forever about how awesome their dates were, or something. Oh, and also he wasn't ready to propose, but has been pressured into it by this show. (Well, he didn't really say that.)

Bachelorette

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