Bachelorette

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With This Ring, I Thee Ed

Outside, Ed is telling Jillian's dad that he's crazy about her and will do whatever it takes to make it work. He asks Glen what he thinks if Ed were to ask Jillian to marry him. Glen thinks about it and says he likes what he sees and he'd be "doing somersaults" if Ed did that. "I'm ready for my daughter to get married," says Glen. Ed tells us it was a huge step for him to talk about marriage with Jillian's daughter.

Then there is some inanity with all of these people in grass skirts and coconut bras hamming it up for the cameras, and it was supposed to be funny but instead it just feels like when you're on an airplane and it just suddenly drops a thousand feet.

Jillian says yesterday it felt like she was with her fiancée, and then she woke up today and realized she has to do it all over again with Kiptyn. Yeah, we know this is fucked up, Jillian. YOU don't. Yeah, I know that when I was engaged, I met some other chick and made out with her for a while the next day and invited her to meet my family, and then made out with her some more.

So then the family is there, and they weirdly act again like they haven't seen Jillian for weeks, even though it was just yesterday. Jillian explains that Kiptyn was "the first guy out of the limo" which is a ringing endorsement, and then Kiptyn talks about being nervous. Jillian says bringing Kiptyn home to meet her family is like "the cherry on top" whatever that is supposed to mean. She knows if he aces this, she'll definitely be able to marry him. She's so much more effusive about Ed, it's not even close.

Anyway, Kiptyn goes to sit down with Jillian's mom, who asks him a bunch of the same questions. Kiptyn doesn't know how many kids he wants, he goes out on a limb and says he thinks communication is very important, and makes all the right noises about wanting to marry your best friend. Peggy tells us that she thinks Kiptyn and Jillian have the same kind of energy.

Jillian asks her grandmother what she thinks about Kiptyn, and her grandmother says she's "overwhelmed," and I think that means, "I could have sworn we met Jillian's fiancée yesterday," and then Jillian's cousin, who's rather a knockout herself, says something about Kiptyn not letting his work overwhelm his life or whatever.

Outside, Glen asks Kiptyn is if he's in love with Jillian. "I'm getting there a lot quicker than I thought I would," stammers Kiptyn, and then he talks about Jillian's "zest for life" and she makes him better, and he hopes to make him better, and he wants to get married and start a family and he can "see" himself with Jillian, and blah blah blah, and all of that isn't the same as saying "yes," which is the same as saying "no."

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Bachelorette

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