Oh, god. So they're still in Banff, not Banff "Springs," which is the name of the hotel they're staying at, and not the town. Jillian, who's been knocking it out, looks-wise, over the last couple of episodes in Banff, talks about how huge it is to meet guys' families. In which case I'm sure she's happy to be in the hands of a television show like The Bachelorette, which is always classy and treats love with the reverence and solemnity it deserves.

So we're in Philadelphia, which is Reid's hometown, and right away we're looking at the famous steps in front of the Philadelphia Museum of Art that Rocky jogged up, and there's Rocky's statue which was erected about eighty years ago, like come back to the twenty-first century, Bachelorette! Ah, who'm I kidding. If I ever go to Philadelphia, that's the first place I'm going.

And there's Reid waiting on some street somewhere with some coffee, and Jillian gets out of a car and they embrace and squeal. Jillian's excited to explore Philadelphia, but she's worried Reid will see she's not a good fit. Which is kind of an odd way to put it. Shouldn't she be worried that she'll see Reid isn't a good fit? I mean, she is, ostensibly, in charge here, right? The two of them sit on a bench and talk about being nervous about the first hometown date, and then they nuzzle and kiss and are unfortunately not pelted with batteries by passing Philadelphians.

So the two of them go for a stroll, and Jillian raves about how beautiful the city is. "It would be a very easy city to live in," she says. Unless one of the actual bachelors is from, I don't know, some place like Tehran, the same's probably true elsewhere.

Time to meet the family! Reid says approval of his family is so important that if one member of his family disapproves, he'd say she's not the girl for him. Really, Reid? Would that one member of your family be living with Jillian for the rest of his or her life? That's rather disappointing.

Reid's going to introduce Jillian to his mom Rhonda, dad Larry, and brothers Brett and Chad. Reid says his mother calls him every few days to ask about who he's dating, and when he's getting serious, etc. "Now that I'm turning thirty in two days, she can get a little crazy," he says.

So Jillian sits down with Reid and his family while everyone drinks beer and Rhonda talks about how it would nice to add a designer to the family, since Reid is a Realtor. And sure enough, mom babbles a little bit about how Reid is good with kids and so she figures he'll get married and have kids, finishing, incongruously, with, "...but, whatever." In an interview, Rhonda tells us that now that Reid is pushing thirty, they'd really like to see him settle down. But she doesn't want to see him hurt, so she wants to make sure that Jillian's the one. Well, do you know she's seeing four other men, and that's actually the fewest number of men she's been seeing over the last couple of weeks?

Jillian and Rhonda sit down for a heart-to-heart in which Jillian tells Rhonda that she thinks Reid had a little bit of trouble opening up, and Rhonda agrees, and neither one of them sees fit to point out that total emotional recluse Reid is on a television show being watched by millions. Jillian asks Rhonda if she's Reid's type, and Rhonda says she thinks Jillian's adorable. Good thing, otherwise the almost thirty-year-old would be required to dump the woman his mommy doesn't like.

And then Jillian talks to Reid's brothers, who ask her why they think Reid's still single. Well, if you guys don't know.... Chad thinks it's a commitment thing, as does Brett. "He doesn't have a problem finding women. They kinda just go away," Brett tells Jillian, which must be awfully reassuring to Jillian.

And then Reid has a heart-to-heart with his dad, who asks if he really likes Jillian, and Reid sounds kind of equivocal with his "I think she is a girl I could fall in love with," and his dad advises him to decide if it's a match he could be happy with, and if it is, then he should go into it head over heels, without worrying about getting hurt. And Larry tells us in an interview that he wishes his son would just make up his own mind about stuff like this. Yeah, seriously.

And then surprise! There's Reid's sisters-in-law and grandmother coming by for a surprise birthday party for him. Oh, are there cameras here? We had no idea! Reid says it was nice to have the woman who he just met a couple of weeks ago who is dating four other guys with him at his milestone birthday party with his family. Jillian kisses him, totally making everyone uncomfortable, and his sister-in-law says that they never see him like this. Mom agrees, and she thinks it was good to see Reid so affectionate, so maybe Jillian could be the one. Well, Mom: twenty percent odds right now. We'll let you know. For her part, Jillian says she fell for Reid's family, and everything was great, but she's got four other great guys that she's going to be doing this with. Amazingly, even after pointing this out, she manages not to say, "This is so fucked up."

And now we go to Valencia, Calif., Michael's hometown, and he tells us that he's excited not only to see his family, but also to see his "lady," like maybe Michael is no longer a breakdance instructor but is actually a country music singer in his sixties.

At his parents' home, we see that Michael has an identical twin brother, Steve, and Jillian's going to meet him as well as his mother, Lynn, and his dad Frank, but sister Jenna is out of the country in Australia. Michael tells his family that he's excited for them to meet her, because she's going to "light this place up," and she's adorable and smokin' hot and one time he saw her in pajamas and he "almost fainted" because she was so beautiful. Mom sits there sighing like this is the most romantic thing she's ever heard of instead of this weird dystopian love game.

Then there's Jillian at the door, and Michael jumps up in the air, and Jillian hugs everybody. She reminds us that she talked to Michael last time about how young he is. Way to bring that up apropos of nothing! Jillian tells the family that she and her friend sat down and came up with a list of non-negotiable things to look for in a mate, and Lynn reacts like Jillian discovered the cure for cancer, and No. 1 on the list for Jillian on non-negotiable qualities is her partner has to make her laugh. And then Lynn is inviting Jillian to go help her with dinner, which is the cue for Michael and Steve to go switch clothes and pull the ol' twin switcheroo on her. It's kind of funny the way the brothers argue about how to go about this, with Michael warning Steve not to kiss her. Near as I can tell, the only reason Steve shouldn't be allowed to kiss her is that he wasn't one of thirty men selected by Bachelorette producers.

Meanwhile, Lynn is telling Jillian how much Michael likes to talk about her, and how he adores her, and then Michael comes in, pretending to be Steve, only Jillian saw through it right away. Man, glad that paid off.

Frank tells Michael that Jillian is the "real deal," that he really likes her, but he's a little concerned for his son, who Frank says has fallen really hard for Jillian. Michael says it really brought it home for him, that his parents could tell that he's really fallen for Jillian.

Jillian goes out on the patio to chat with Steve, who asks her, "Is Michael's age a factor for you?" and Jillian babbles a whole lot of words that mean "Yes," and Steve says that when they were younger, they always figured they'd get married younger so they'd have time to spend with their wives before kids entered the picture. "Mike wants a wife, you know what I mean? We want to be, like, be good husbands, you know what I mean? Be good fathers." Jillian tells us, "Steve laid a lot of my fears to rest." Really? She says she's been concerned about Michael's age, but what if sh

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