Everyone seems to have magically assembled in the living room when Shannon, Original Bachelor Cast Member, enters with another videotape. Sara tells us that they "picked Charlie" for a reason that can't be because "he has this fantastic package," which is definitely what I think she said. Blink. BLINK! This videotape reveals Trista falling right out of a purple bathing suit and standing in front of a swimming pool, telling him almost nonsensically, "My friends say you deserve to be treated like royalty. But first we're gonna get a chance to play." Meh? Anyway: "So grab your swimsuit and prepare to get drenched. But don't worry. We'll have lots of time to dry off together later." Various testosterone-fueled whoops ring out in the living room, as we cut to Trista entering the house to find Charlie decked out in his best black wife-beater (actually, this must be his second-best one. Guys who wear clothes like that save their very best tank tops to get married in). And here we are at Wild Rivers USA, where kids pee in the wave pool and reality-show flunkies find love. That's totally what's written in Latin across the top of the Wild Rivers official seal. Trista and Charlie go on various water rides and fall into various pools, as the two of them gallivant in skimpy clothes and break five thousand applicable theme-park zoning edicts by drinking alcohol in public out of open containers made of actual glass while swimming in a pool. Without even waiting an hour after getting loaded to go swimming! Their mothers failed.
Episode Report CardDjb: B | 605 USERS: C+
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