"You're from...?" Meredith's mom asks, and Ian, seated next to Meredith on a couch cushion still warm from Matthew's hot Texas ass, responds, "I grew up in Brazil." Meredith's mother sips her wine politely and with a barely-concealed look of "Brazil...What on earth is that?" He's been "in the States" for fourteen years now, and he puts the kibosh on this topic right away with an almost embarrassed, "So, that's a long story." Here's my guess: radical mom. Weather Underground. Defection to south of the border. Spy training for their little boy at the best South American spy school Sao Paolo has to offer. Present day.

"I'm gonna drop a dad bomb," Santa threatens, and everyone laughs as Ian looks bewildered. And it is a little bit of a foul expression, particularly because it reminds me of the dirty kid in my elementary school (you know that kid, right? The dirty one?) who used to tell people that if they didn't stop picking on him, he was going to give them something called "a breath blast." And then he would breathe on them, and that would be their karmic punishment for telling the dirty kid to take a damn shower because his hair mites were snowing all over their notebooks. Damn that kid. He was the reason I got thrown out of a class the single time I ever did anything bad in high school. I don't mean to be one of the bullies, but dude! Shower! Sigh. Kids can be so cruel. And other kids? Dirty. But anyway: "What's a dad bomb?" Ian asks. Way to play along, junior. Unable to explain, Santa just modifies the subject line, instead asking, "I want you to tell me why you're attracted to my daughter." Ian takes a cool, Bond-esque sip of something with flat tonic in it (you can still hear the dad's "Well, lemme check...I think we might have some down in the garage") and responds, "Look at her!" I think the thing is that Ian might be really funny. Every once in a while it seems like a really wry, normal personality is going to poke through the thick veneer of reality cheese that gets poured all over everything. If Ian is funny, don't you think showing it would be the best way to make us feel close to their burgeoning relationship? Why do we have to be so condescended to that Ian is reduced to the singular personality characteristic of "really likes Meredith"? We already know that. Fleiss? To you? A breath blast.