Bachelorette
Ep. |
Title |
Air/Pub'l |
Grade |
Author |
| 7-10 Weecap |
After the RoseSeason 7: After the Rose - As Bret Michaels says, every rose has its thorn and this one's name is Ben. |
2011.08.01
2011.08.02 |
A | LuluBates |
| 7-10 Weecap |
The Grand FinaleSeason 7: The Final Rose - In which Ashley picks a husband just to piss off her sister. |
2011.08.01
2011.08.02 |
A | LuluBates |
| 7-9 Weecap |
HallelujahSeason 7: The Men Tell All - It's raining [whiny, bitter, angry, weepy, brain damaged] men. |
2011.07.31
2011.08.01 |
A | LuluBates |
| 7-9 Weecap |
W.T.FijiSeason 7: Episode 9 - One contestant shows up for no good reason and one walks out before the Fantasy Suite. |
2011.07.25
2011.07.26 |
A | LuluBates |
| 7-8 Weecap |
Pimp That HomeSeason 7: Hometown Dates - Ashley hits the bachelors' hometowns like they owe her money. |
2011.07.18
2011.07.19 |
A | LuluBates |
| 7-7 Weecap |
Taiwan OnSeason 7: Episode 7 - The spectre of hometown dates means everyone's talking love. Except Ryan who is talking tankless water heaters. |
2011.07.11
2011.07.12 |
A | LuluBates |
| 7-6 Weecap |
Hong Kong PhooeySeason 7, Episode 6 - Bentley shows up in Hong Kong, and Ashley goes from coyly wanting him back to appearing to want him dead. Then she spends the rest of the episode telling us how over Bentley she is. |
2011.06.27
2011.06.28 |
F | Daniel |
| 7-4 Weecap |
Beau ThaiSeason 7 Episode 5 - The Men take it to the Next Level by beating the crap out of each other for Ashley's viewing pleasure. |
2011.06.20
2011.06.21 |
A | LuluBates |
| 7-4 Weecap |
F@#in' PhuketEpisode 4 - Ashley invites the men to Thai one on. See what I did there? |
2011.06.13
2011.06.14 |
A | LuluBates |
| 7-3 Weecap |
The Dearly DepartedSeason 7 Episode 3 - In which Bentley makes his move. |
2011.06.06
2011.06.07 |
A | LuluBates |
| 7-2 Weecap |
Playing the OddsEpisode 2 - What happens in Vegas, should have stayed in Vegas. |
2011.05.30
2011.05.31 |
A | LuluBates |
| 7-1 Recap |
Meet the Meat
|
2011.05.23
2011.05.24 |
A | LuluBates |
| 6-12 Weecap |
Every Rose Has its ThornsAfter the Final Rose - Ali and Roberto are still engaged. For now. |
2010.08.02
2010.08.03 |
D- | LuluBates |
| 6-11 Weecap |
The Final RoseAli Invites the Final Two Bachelors to Tahiti to Meet Her Family - Ali chooses Man Meat over Emotionless Spam. |
2010.08.02
2010.08.03 |
A+ | LuluBates |
| 6-9 Weecap |
Nothing to TellThe Men Tell All - The least interesting of the ousted bachelors talk about the much more interesting ousted bachelors for two hours. TWO HOURS. |
2010.07.26
2010.07.27 |
D- | LuluBates |
| 6-8 Weecap |
Let's Be FrankEpisode 9 - Roberto and Chris get some action, while Frank just gets honest. |
2010.07.19
2010.07.20 |
A+ | LuluBates |
| 6-8 Weecap |
Hospitality, Taxidermy Basement-StyleAli Meets The Bachelors' Families - Kirk's family embarrasses themselves pretty badly while the other bachelors' families do not, so you can probably guess who got sent home. |
2010.07.12
2010.07.13 |
A+ | LuluBates |
| 6-7 Weecap |
Party of Five plus Jake and ViennaEpisode 7 - Ali and her himbos are in Portugal, but they can't escape the voice of Bachelor Jake yelling, "STOP UNDERMINING ME, AMERICA!" |
2010.07.05
2010.07.06 |
A+ | LuluBates |
| 6-6 Weecap |
Istanbul, Not ConstantinopleEpisode 6 - Pro Tip: If you've got a date in Constantinople, she'll be waiting in Istanbul. Unless you're Justin or Craig. |
2010.06.28
2010.06.29 |
A+ | LuluBates |
| 6-5 Weecap |
Cold!Episode 5 - Kasey ends up with his ultimate partner: the vast, frozen, merciless, empty world. |
2010.06.21
2010.06.22 |
A+ | M. Giant |
| 6-4 Weecap |
Take New YorkEpisode 4 - Ali and her man-gang hit New York City and sap the city's reserves of Valtrex. |
2010.06.14
2010.06.15 |
A+ | LuluBates |
| 6-3 Weecap |
Who in the What Now?Episode 3 - Ali gang-dates most of the men in the house, but makes sure to take some quiet time with dreamboat Roberto 500 feet above LA. Because that's totally normal. |
2010.06.07
2010.06.08 |
A+ | LuluBates |
| 6-2 Weecap |
Seventeen and CountingEpisode 2 - The Bachelorette makes out with two men, but makes sure Nana knows she is dating seventeen men at once. |
2010.05.31
2010.06.01 |
A+ | LuluBates |
| 5-1 Weecap |
Meet the MeatGeneration Vexed - It's Bachelorette Ali's man meat round up! Yeehaw? |
2010.05.24
2010.05.25 |
A+ | LuluBates |
| 5-12 Weecap |
The Last Rose of SummerAfter the Final Rose - Melissa’s happy. Kiptyn’s not happy. Reid’s not happy. Jillian and Ed are really happy. Happiest of all? People who hate this show! |
2009.07.28
2009.07.29 |
D | Daniel |
| 5-11 Weecap |
With This Ring, I Thee EdJillian Makes Her Final Decision - Jillian dumps Kiptyn, and then tells us she's so in love with Ed, at least until Reid shows up to stand around for three hours while Jillian agonizes over him. And then Chris Harrison gives her some advice, and then she remembers: she's in so much love with Ed! |
2009.07.27
2009.07.28 |
D | Daniel |
| 5-10 Weecap |
Bros Before Hos and Common SenseThe Men Tell All - David defends his creepy behavior, Wes is lambasted in absentia, and Jason Mesnick shows up to explain how his dumping Melissa is actually the reason for her happiness. |
2009.07.20
2009.07.21 |
D | Daniel |
| 5-9 Weecap |
Ups and DownsOne of the Bachelors Has a Surprise for Jillian - Quite possibly the first episode of any dating show to deal with the troublesome issue of erectile dysfunction. |
2009.07.13
2009.07.14 |
B- | Angel Cohn |
| 5-8 Weecap |
The Spanish InquisitionJillian and the Four Remaining Bachelors Go to Spain - Jillian meets her four final fellas in Spain and grills them about their true intentions... which doesn't go well if you happen to be a lying, cheating asshat like Wes. |
2009.07.06
2009.07.07 |
C+ | Angel Cohn |
| 5-7 Weecap |
I Wanna Be Your BoyfriendJillian Visits The Bachelors' Hometowns - Jake decides to fly to Austin before Jillian's hometown date with Wes to warn her that Wes has a girlfriend. In an unbelievable stroke of luck, the cameras are there to record it all. |
2009.06.29
2009.06.30 |
B+ | Daniel |
| 5-6 Weecap |
Throw Robby from the TrainTrain Trip - Wes gets more upfront with the other guys about how he's on the show to gain exposure for his music career. I don't know what everyone's up in arms about. Shouldn't repeated exposure of "Love Don't Come Eeeeassy" ensure that Wes will soon have to get a real job? |
2009.06.22
2009.06.23 |
B | Daniel |
| 5-5 Weecap |
Ed's Dead, Baby. Ed's Dead.Fun in the Snow - Warning: Jillian expects you to get fired from your job to prove you want to be with her, even as she falls in love with many guys at once. |
2009.06.15
2009.06.16 |
D | Daniel |
| 5-4 Weecap |
I'm Here for the Right Reasons -- BoozeThree of the Bachelors are Sent Home - Jillian hears some rumours that some of the guys there have girlfriends, but no one owns up to it. And David finally gets the boot! |
2009.06.08
2009.06.09 |
D | Daniel |
| 5-3 Weecap |
Keep on Chasing that Unicorn"Group Date to a Movie Set" - Dave gets drunk and rages about Juan the whole time, like a tiresome party guest, except a lot of the bachelors don’t seem to mind being yelled at constantly about how Juan is worse than Hitler. |
2009.06.01
2009.06.02 |
D | Daniel |
| 5-2 Weecap |
"I Was Hung Like a Light Switch"Eight Bachelors Go to Pool Party - The bachelors get sent on a scavenger hunt. The prize is dinner with Jillian. It could be worse. It could be dinner with Jillian and a Martina McBride concert. |
2009.05.25
2009.05.26 |
B | Daniel |
| 5-1 Weecap |
Now With 20% More Male Famewhores!Jillian Harris Searches For Love - Remember how we all used to like Jillian? Tonight, ABC gets to work on wrecking that, too. |
2009.05.18
2009.05.19 |
C | Daniel |
| 4-10 Weecap |
Crocodile TearsDeAnna Accepts A Proposal - Jason gets the front-runner's edit, but Jesse gets the underdog's victory as DeAnna chooses pink shoelaces. |
2008.07.07
2008.07.08 |
F | Daniel |
| 4-9 Weecap |
Get Him a Body Bag!"The Men Tell All" - Most of these guys DeAnna let go because they didn’t open up enough. So just how successful did they think this episode would be? |
2008.06.30
2008.07.01 |
A | Daniel |
| 4-8 Weecap |
Where Do Broken Hearts Go?"Romantic, Overnight Dates" - There are three J’s -- Jason, Jeremy and Jesse -- trying to win DeAnna’s heart. That’s one J too many. |
2008.06.30
2008.07.01 |
D | Daniel |
| 4-7 Weecap |
Golden Graham"DeAnna Meets Bachelors' Families" - After meeting the remaining four bachelors' families, DeAnna dumps Graham, and then yells at him, because it's his fault, apparently. |
2008.06.23
2008.06.24 |
D | Daniel |
| 4-6 Weecap |
Here I Go Again On My Own"An Evening of Dinner and Dancing" - DeAnna has an existential crisis and cancels the cocktail party, wailing at the futility of it all. |
2008.06.16
2008.06.17 |
F | Daniel |
| 4-5 Weecap |
DeAnna Tells All...For About 20 Minutes"DeAnna Tells All" - DeAnna’s inane natterings bookend The Most Boring Clip Show ever. So that’s what the bottom of the barrel looks like. |
2008.06.16
2008.06.17 |
F | Daniel |
| 4-4 Weecap |
Blue DeAnna Song"A Date at the California Speedway" - It’s the most shocking date ever! DeAnna murders two bachelors and eats their still-beating hearts! |
2008.06.09
2008.06.10 |
D | Daniel |
| 4-3 Weecap |
Everybody Farts"A Group Date at a Dude Ranch" - Ron doesn’t get rejected. Ron thinks Chuck Norris Facts are true about himself. |
2008.06.02
2008.06.03 |
D+ | Daniel |
| 4-2 Weecap |
King Jeremy the WickedEpisode 2 - Clearly we remember picking on the boy. Also: Jason gets in DeAnna’s box. |
2008.05.26
2008.05.27 |
D | Daniel |
| 4-1 Weecap |
Did I Shave My Chest for This?DeAnna Pappas Chooses From 25 Bachelors - DeAnna Pappas is so over Brad, you can tell, because he’s only talked about during ninety percent of the episode, instead of a hundred percent. |
2008.05.19
2008.05.20 |
D | Daniel |
| 2-7 Recap |
Circle Gets The SquareOnce In Love With Ian - Actually, Square gets the Circle. Actually, Square gets no one. Actually, Circle just gets Ian. |
2004.02.25
2004.02.27 |
C- | Djb |
| 2-6 Recap |
Loser Is As Loser DoesIsland Of Tropic Diseases - Try a little tenderness, Meredith. Try a little ANYTHING, Meredith. Just don't try pretending you like Chad. It's embarrassing. |
2004.02.18
2004.02.20 |
A+ | Djb |
| 2-5 Recap |
Save The Drama For Yo MamaHome On Deranged - Lanny's mom preaches, Matthew's mom rhymes, Chad's mom makes his bed for him, and Ian's mom disappears on cue. Good job, Meredith. Describing all of these guys in terms of their mothers is an excellent sign. |
2004.02.11
2004.02.12 |
A- | Djb |
| 2-4 Recap |
Lanny, Get Your GunOne On One's So Slow - Your love gun, that is, you seafood-sautéing stud, you. |
2004.02.04
2004.02.05 |
C- | Djb |
| 2-3 Recap |
Sssssssssh!Dude, Don't Be Such A Rick - Ryan M., seriously. The giraffes can't take it anymore. |
2004.01.28
2004.01.29 |
B | Djb |
| 2-2 Recap |
Spare MeBowlers And Bowling - Bowling is supposed to be nasty and foolish and sloppy and drunk, so you wouldn't think it would work inside a mansion, right? But seriously, with Rick and Meredith creeping up the place, they insure it will be all of the above. Hey! Save me the small orange ball! Oh, wait. That's just Rick's head. |
2004.01.21
2004.01.22 |
B- | Djb |
| 2-1 Recap |
She's A Bad Nana JamaHouse Of Bland And Groggy - The Ghost Of Dead Grandmas Past haunts the first ten minutes of this episode, after which time it descends into an exact retread of every previous season of this show. That's why Djb didn't feel so bad aping his index-page headline from last season. Because seriously? It's the identical show. |
2004.01.14
2004.01.15 |
A+ | Djb |
| Extra | Marry Me A LotTrista & Ryan's Wedding, Part 3 - I don't. And I can't. And I won't. And I think we should see other reality shows. Because this is NOT working out. |
2003.12.11
2003.12.14 |
A+ | Djb |
| Extra | Lamb, Meet SlaughterTrista & Ryan's Wedding, Part 2 - Ryan bawls like a small child and it's all very pathetic. |
2003.12.03
2003.12.08 |
B | Djb |
| Extra | Death Wears A Sweater SetTrista & Ryan's Wedding, Part 1 - Don't fear the reaper. For she will introduce you to people who let you taste delicious cakes. |
2003.11.26
2003.11.28 |
C- | Djb |
| 1-7 Recap |
Worshipping False American IdolsAttention Beggars Can Be Choosers - What if you threw a surprise reality-show finale and nobody came? |
2003.02.19
2003.02.21 |
B+ | Djb |
| 1-6 Recap |
Uncontrolled SubstancesThe Men Tell All - Videotaped footage of a grown man urinating on his own bed is burned on our retinas forever. It just makes that whole cocaine-bust thing pale in comparison, doesn't it? |
2003.02.12
2003.02.14 |
B | Djb |
| 1-5 Recap |
The Biorhythm MethodYou're All I Overthink About - Russ gets his aura read and his ego shattered, and Rhymin' and Sideshow Charlie get...well, laid. |
2003.02.05
2003.02.07 |
C- | Djb |
| 1-4 Recap |
A Room of One's OwnA Very Very Very Fine House - You could fit all of the action of this episode into Greg's studio apartment. And you could wipe that sneer off your face when you do it, young lady. |
2003.01.29
2003.01.31 |
C | Djb |
| 1-3 Recap |
Ryan's HopeOh, The Humanity! - "I like rocks. Rocks are gray. When you talk to a rock. They always say..." |
2003.01.22
2003.01.24 |
B | Djb |
| 1-2 Recap |
Encino EvilChargers: A Million / Dorks: Eight - Yeah, um, hi everyone. I'm Guy. Who the hell are all you people? |
2003.01.15
2003.01.17 |
B+ | Djb |
| 1-1 Recap |
Slice Up the BeefcakeDebut - Twenty-five eligible blue-collar bohunks in varying degrees of cheap suits make their first plays for Trista's heart. |
2003.01.08
2003.01.10 |
B | Djb |
Season 7 Episode 1 - Bachelorette Ashley has a whole lot of man meat on her hands, but strangely lets the butcher go home early.













