Bachelorette
Season 7: After the Rose

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After the Rose

Harrison however thinks Ben's anger at Ashley was the most natural, genuine, honest rejection reaction they have ever had on this show ever and he wouldn't take it back for all the world. GOD I HATE IT WHEN I AGREE WITH HARRISON. It's like I need to reexamine all my life choices. Anyway, is it okay to say now that I hate Ben's hair? It looks like Howdy Doody and Josh Groban's hair had an ugly love child. Is it long? Is it short? Why is it parted in the middle? Chris reminds him that he was in love with Ashley and Ben agrees with him. Then he mentions his dead dad again and how he wants his dad to be proud of him and he thinks his dad would have been proud of him proposing marriage on a reality show. Is that a thing dads are proud of? Kinda expecting the voice of his father to come blaring out of the heavens saying, "Oh HELL NO, son."

Chris Harrison wants to know what the return flight was like for Ben. Was it fun? Did he make out with a stewardess? Did he get really blotto? Ben says it was the longest flight of his life and not just because of the fact that Fiji is in the middle of freaking nowhere. Adding insult to injury, the producers couldn't/wouldn't get the loser a direct flight and he had to make multiple stops. The audience tut tuts in sympathy because if there is one thing that unifies us as a nation it is a hatred of the airline industry. When Ben adds that he was on his way to his best friend's wedding, everyone gasps in horror. Ben agrees that going to a wedding after getting his heart crushed was hard. Chris reminds him that Ashley is here and he is going to have to talk to her. Ben nods glumly and flattens his hair some more.

Ashley comes on stage with even darker hair and a ladylike minidress. She gives Ben a big hug, which Ben grins and bears, barely. Chris asks Ben what he would like to say to Ashley and the first thing out of his mouth is, "Nice ring." The audience gasps, because, HEY BEN, YOUR BITTERNESS IS SHOWING, but Ashley just smiles and pretends this isn't happening. Ashley talks to Chris instead of Ben as she explains that the day she got engaged was also one of the hardest days of her life, because she had to say goodbye to Ben. Yeah, that guy. Ben doesn't say anything, but just stares at the ceiling as if all the answers to all the questions are stored there. Ashley says it was hard, because she cared about Ben and didn't realize that they couldn't be friends.

Ben says something angry and Chris calls Ben out on his anger, but Ben claims he's not angry. Now. Ben acknowledges that he WAS angry and Ashley says that when she watched the show she got why he was angry. It's all very touchy feely. But wait, does that mean that Ashley didn't think that he had a right to be angry at her for dumping him on national television after he proposed to her? Does she have blunt-force head trauma or some form of Asperger's that prevented her from seeing that before? I mean, getting pissed when you get dumped is pretty normal human behavior. Ashley assures Ben that it wasn't anything that he did that made her choose J.P. She just liked J.P. more. Also, Ben's mom was kinda bitchy. Then Ashley rattles off the list of characteristics that the producers told her to mention: He was open, vulnerable, and put himself out there. I'm guessing that they producers focus grouped those words and found the audience related best to those terms.

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Bachelorette

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