Bachelorette
Bachelorette

Episode Report Card
Daniel: F | 1108 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Hong Kong Phooey

Awkward laughing and small talk, with Lucas asking how she's handling anything. Is she confident? "I think I'm as confident as I can be," says Ashley, with no apparent grasp of the irony splattered on that statement like DNA on a hotel room bedspread. Ashley asks about the toughest thing he's ever been through. Some family members dying, that kind of thing, divorce. Lucas opens up about how there was a moment he knew this wasn't the girl he was meant to be with. Ashley tells him he doesn't have to talk about it, like she wasn't the one who asked him in the first place.

Back at the hotel, the guys are talking with Ryan and Blake about not having a one-on-one date. Blake says he doesn't appreciate being lumped in with Ryan, because... oh, I'm going to figure no one likes Ryan because he doesn't spend all his time figuring out various ways to call someone "bro."

The group date card arrives, and it is for Ryan, Mickey, Constantine, Ben, Ames and Blake. "Let's get our hearts racing, love Ashley." I hope this is some sort of metaphor for cocaine abuse but it's obviously going to mean an actual race, which is much less interesting.

Back on the junk, Ashley is saying inane things like how she's learned that Lucas is a real guy, and she also has some questions about some things, so she really wants him to accept the rose or whatever the hell. They share a quick smooch on the lips. "Was that our first kiss?" asks Lucas, who then insists on another kiss, the kind that involves her grabbing her chin. He feels glad he's on this journey, and he's on cloud nine, while Ashley says Lucas makes her feel like a woman, and she uses the non-word "manlihood." She's so happy about how everything's turning out, and she thinks she's on her way to finding her husband here.

So it's the next day, and you're over Bentley, right? "These guys are so great, and now that I've put Bentley--" Goddammit.

Anyway, they're going dragonboat racing. Blake says he doesn't know a thing about dragonboat racing, like he's not sure what this "racing" means, or what "dragonboats" are. Could they have anything to do with the boats nearby on the beach with the dragon figureheads? Well, it's certainly a mystery and I hope Blake figures it out soon.

Bachelorette

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP