Bachelorette
Season 7, Episode 6

Episode Report Card
Daniel: F | Grade It Now!
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Hong Kong Phooey

Anyway, Ashley's excited to see to see the guys, although she's not sure if she's ready to tell the guys what happened. She figures maybe she'll address them individually. Because that's the only way they'll be able to handle hearing about the rejection of Bentley?

So the date card shows up, and Ryan P. tells us that he, Lucas and Blake are the only ones who haven't had a one-on-one date. This one goes to Lucas, who the other guys seem to call Big Tex, presumably for shower-based reasons, who seems a little concerned about spending his time in Hong Kong, since he's never even been to New York.

So they go to Kowloon, which is apparently known for its neon signs, which fits in with my theory that Ashley is inordinately distracted by bright shiny objects, and unfortunately there is way too much talk about all her Bentley closure, the kind of closure that means you can still fucking blather on about a person that you're supposedly over.

Lucas manages not to wet his pants over all the culture shock, and he says some suspiciously post-Bentley-apropos statements like it seems she's got a different glow about her.

They go for dinner on a junk boat, and he tells us that he wants to dance with her, get his first kiss, and get a rose. How nice to see that the emphasis on the kiss -- and all the immunities and riches it would seem to bestow -- is still alive on this show. By this point, any talk of kissing should only come after everyone drinks a bottle of Purell, but I don't see that happening.

Awkward laughing and small talk, with Lucas asking how she's handling anything. Is she confident? "I think I'm as confident as I can be," says Ashley, with no apparent grasp of the irony splattered on that statement like DNA on a hotel room bedspread. Ashley asks about the toughest thing he's ever been through. Some family members dying, that kind of thing, divorce. Lucas opens up about how there was a moment he knew this wasn't the girl he was meant to be with. Ashley tells him he doesn't have to talk about it, like she wasn't the one who asked him in the first place.

Back at the hotel, the guys are talking with Ryan and Blake about not having a one-on-one date. Blake says he doesn't appreciate being lumped in with Ryan, because... oh, I'm going to figure no one likes Ryan because he doesn't spend all his time figuring out various ways to call someone "bro."

The group date card arrives, and it is for Ryan, Mickey, Constantine, Ben, Ames and Blake. "Let's get our hearts racing, love Ashley." I hope this is some sort of metaphor for cocaine abuse but it's obviously going to mean an actual race, which is much less interesting.

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