Back on the date, Ashley and Constantine are now dining. These two have no apparent chemistry and are quite dull to watch together, but at this point in the season, any time Ashley's not crying is a high point. Constantine asks Ashley flat out what she likes about him, which is a conversation I had a lot in middle school (with myself, no one liked me) and Ashley doesn't bother playing coy. She thinks he's hot and he's a family man. Sold! She has her hand on his upper outer thigh and he doesn't even blink. And not in that "I'm going to keep talking and not looking at her hand so I don't get a woodie" sort of way, but more in that, "Oh I didn't notice you had your hand there" sort of way. Then Ashley gets all needy and asks him if maybe he won't let himself fall in love until after the hometown dates? Is that why he won't like her? Why doesn't he like her? He just won't let himself like her? Right? Right? Sigh... Then they talk about the L Word and I actually wish they were talking about the Showtime show, but they aren't. Then they kiss and light a lantern and it floats up into space and Ashley feels JUST like Rapunzel from Tangled only with better hair.

The next day, Ben meets Ashley at a national park, but they aren't just going to explore the park, they are going to moped through the park! Moped Hug! Ashley wraps her arms around Ben and reminds us that during their last date Ben showed her that he was ready for a serious relationship, but now she is dating multiple men (not in a slutty way) and needs to cement things. She needs to prove that there is both a physical and emotional relationship before she meets his family. Yeah, yeah, heard it before! You know, five minutes ago with Constantine. As Ben and Ashley zip down the gorgeous mountain roads with the river on the right and the overhanging rocks and... dammit I want to be on a reality show if it means traveling to places this beautiful while professing fake feelings and light canoodling (that's eating noodles from a can, right?).