Bachelorette
Season 7: Episode 9

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W.T.Fiji

Then, during some pre-dinner cuddling, Ashley intentionally misleads him by very carefully saying (guessing a producer helped her choose her words) that she said goodbye to two guys that week. To his credit, J.P. looks like he won the lottery when she says that. She then explains that Constantine left of his own volition, but the second guy she said goodbye to wasn't Ben, but a recently returned Ryan P. who is probably still crying in a bush somewhere. J.P. claims he's kind of glad to hear it. She begs him not to get hung up on her other relationships. He swears he's not. She doesn't want him to hold back. He promises he's not holding back, but is just waiting for things to be right. She then asks him to not view this as a competition, and he swears that he doesn't want to win just to beat Ben, but because he wants her. Obviously she has no choice but to give him the card to the Fantasy Suite after that doozy. As they go to make out in their flower-filled candlelit room, Ashley tries to turn out all the lights and then goes "to change." The expectation is that she'll come back in lingerie, but instead returns in a swimsuit coverup? I guess J.P. is into that sort of thing, because he jumps on her. This despite the fact that he just told us that he won't tell us he's in love with her yet. He just wants to save that for some more private occasion. He doesn't mind laying on top of a girl on a bed on national television, though. He's cool with that.

Although Ashley no longer has to choose who is moving forward, Chris Harrison makes an effort to justify his airfare to Fiji as well as his continued existence on a show that needs no host (seriously, think about it) by showing up and chatting to Ashley. They talk dates -- Ben: Fun; Constantine: No romance; Ryan: Good guy, goodbye; J.P.: Sex on a beach. Even Chris is wondering why they are having a Rose Ceremony when there are only two guys left, but Ashley is convinced that this is the most important Rose Ceremony ever, just for her self-esteem issues. She talked to her therapist and she wants the remaining two Bachelors to accept her rose. To let themselves be picked. For some reason this isn't enough for Chris, who yammers on some more and then leaves Ashley to stare at some headshots for no apparent reason. Ashley talks about her strong feelings for Ben and J.P. and sadly cuts the eyes out of Constantine's picture. She knows that she will be engaged next week and she needs to know that her two suitors are on the same page as her. This is dumb. I mean, REALLY DUMB. Like just blatant time-wasting, brain-cell killing, dragged out dumb. This does not stop Chris Harrison from bringing out J.P. and Ben and pointing out that Constantine is gone. He then leaves it up to Ashley to explain why Constantine isn't there. Not because he wasn't into her, but because he ate some bad moussaka and had to go home. J.P. already knows the truth, but Ben is looking a little confused. Then Ashley tells them that Constantine didn't feel strongly enough to move forward, so now she wants them to tell her how much they love her, boost her self-esteem in verse or song, write her a story, draw her a picture, and maybe shower her with diamonds and flowers just to prove that they still want to be in this competition for her love and to be her husband.

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