Season 7: The Final Rose

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The Grand Finale

But Chrystie's not done: She thinks Ashley is too much for J.P. She's too much! And J.P. is too old to change. He's set in his ways. He's a crotchety curmudgeon who needs a glass of warm milk and his pipe and slippers every night at 7 PM or ELSE. J.P. tries to defend himself, but Chrystie, who I LOVE, just shrugs and says, "I don't feel it." Then she adds the kicker: She thought Ashley showed more of herself when she brought freakin' BRAD WOMACK home. J.P. is stunned into silence with that one. Actually, I think all of America was stunned by that proclamation. J.P. stumbles off after that and goes to find Ashley. She swears that her family loves him, except obviously her sister, but maybe Chrystie's ragging it or something? Ashley tries to tell J.P. not to worry, but he's all, "Fuck that, I have nothing to do between now and the time I'm supposed to propose to you. I'm going to worry." Ashley tries to convince him that it's all good and she only values her sister's opinion a little bit, but he doesn't believe her. Would you? No you would not. As J.P. walks off into the sunset he swears that if this changes Ashley's feelings towards him, then he is totally not proposing to her. Um, J.P.? If Ashley changes her feelings towards you then you don't NEED to propose. Just sayin'.

Ashley walks along the beach with Jesus (there are only one set of footprints in the sand and you Vacation Bible School refugees know what I'm talking about) and with Jesus' help decides that she needs to talk to her sister before Ben arrives. Ashley grabs Chrystie for some girl talk by the pool. Chrystie reminds Ashley that she just didn't feel it with J.P. and she is a much more rational person (except when it comes to getting full-sleeve tattoos apparently) and Ashley should definitely listen to her. Ashley nods that she knows her sister is rational. Chrystie adds that the problem is that Ashley wants Chrystie to like him and she just didn't. It has nothing to do with J.P., it has to do with Ashley's behavior around J.P. That's why Ashley is upset, but it's not Chrystie's fault that she's honest.

Ashley starts crying (DRIIIIIINKKK!) and tells Chrystie she is being a bitch and is not being supportive. Chrystie points out that Ashley just wants her to agree with her, to like J.P., and smile and pat Ashley on the head and tell her to go live with J.P. Ashley cries some more and complains that Chrystie isn't being supportive. Chrystie points out that being supportive doesn't mean agreeing. Then Ashley goes to whine to the camera and Chrystie goes to whine to her mom. She smartly points out that Ashley's original gut reaction was that Bentleeeeeeee was the one and now her gut reaction is that J.P. is the one and Chrystie thinks she's wacked. Chrystie may be on to something.

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