He smiles and nods as we move along to Ryan P.'s overeagerness and how much everyone hates him. As he drifts to his happy place, Ryan P. smiles and nods and thinks about how much he loves his new compostable toilet. When Lucas calls him a "goober," he asks if it's an organic and fair-trade goober, and if so, he's okay with it. Then we get a montage of William's bipolar disorder (He's happy! He's sad! He's evil! He's sad.) Everyone really wants to talk about William's behavior toward Young Matlock on their double date. Basically, he violated the Bro Code by telling Ashley that Young Matlock had mentioned online dating while pursuing her. William pretends/deludes himself into believing that he was protecting Ashley. The verdict? Not cool dude. Then everyone jumps on Ryan P. some more, so he returns to his happy place while everyone reminds him that they thought he was annoying. Nick (the trainer with the mullet) sorta kinda comes to his defense, but really, who cares? If you do, email me and I'll give you the play-by-play all SportsCenter style. Last on Harrison's agenda is a close analysis of Jeff and the Mask. Verdict? Creepy loser. Jeff doesn't really bother disagreeing.
When we return from some more quality time in Adlandia (Land of Dairy Queen, come to meeeeee), William gets put in the Hot Seat. Via a carefully crafted montage, we get to fully explore Williams' failures as a contestant/man/human. He and Ashley had an instant connection that quickly fizzled after William decided that a roast was a great moment to pinpoint Ashley's greatest fears and mock them. As we re-watch his greatest misses and his downward spiral from frontrunner to disgraced loser, William tears up and won't watch the screen. When Ashley bids him farewell and he leaves in the limo, he talks about curling up in bed and dying. Super uplifting stuff, right? Well, you're the numnuts not watching Shark Week. The audience is silent as William's suicidal tendencies echo through the air. No one says anything for a long time until Chris gently prods him to start talking.