Next in the Hot Seat is Ames. The ladies squeal because girls are silly like that. As the ladies continuing squee-ing, Ames gives them a super awkward thumbs up, which is so awkward that it's endearing. He is, of course, charmingly taken aback by the attention. His highlight reel is filled with Ashley giving him mad props for spontaneity and his white white teeth and his brain and then him getting bashed in said brain all for love and him wooing her at his family manor and ultimately his dismissal from the path to love. His limo ride is the picture of classiness: He loved her, he thought they would be together forever, but she didn't loved him. Awww Ames. He tells Harrison that he is grateful to have known Ashley and hopes she is very happy. A lady (maybe me) throws her panties on stage. Chris then reminds him that he is terrible at boxing and then presents him with his very own pink boxing gloves. Ames shyly takes them and thanks Harrison politely for the present. Expect an engraved thank you card tomorrow, Chris!
You guys, we need to talk about Bentleeeeeeeeeeee. But first! A montage starting with his desire for the Bachelorette to be Emily, the disappointed look on his face when he saw it was not Emily, and his statement that although he's not attracted to Ashley, he IS competitive. Charmante, right? The trip down memory lane follows his seedy attempts to get Ashley to love him so he can win... fame? I don't know, what do you win when you have to propose to a woman you don't love? Then we get a stream of clips of Bentley bad-mouthing Ashley, the other bachelors, the producers, everyone and clapping himself on his back for his mad asshole skillz. Seriously, it's a good thing he owns his own business, because the skills section on his resume probably reads: Being a dick, being an asshole, being a jerk, mocking people, ultra competitiveness, alienating people, being a public chump.
As we all wait for Bentley to come on stage, Chris delivers the kicker: Bentley didn't come! No matter what the producers did, begged, or offered, he wouldn't come. Hahahahahahahhahahahahah. We got played AGAIN! Since Bentley isn't here to defend himself or brag or whatever, Chris opens up the field to whoever wants to take a shot at him. Everyone does. The men try to score points with potential future dates by chivalrously defending Ashley and calling out Bentley for his wretched behavior.
Then Harrison pulls Michelle Money on stage because she was the one who told Ashley about Bentley's past and his plan. Michelle reminds us that Bentley's ex-wife told her that Bentley was going on the show to promote his business and didn't like Ashley at all and was only going to stay on the show for a week. Everything went according to plan, although I guess it's hard to work a trampoline arena into the conversation, so he didn't get to promote his business that much. Then Michelle and Chris play pop psychologists and... seriously, if Michelle Money is giving you psych advice you are in serious serious trouble and you should probably just put a bag on your head and call yourself a muffin and ask someone to butter you because you are TOASTED. Anyway, Michelle was thinking that if she didn't give Ashley that information then maybe Ashley would never have been attracted to bad boy Bentley? Chris nods and then the camera cuts to the audience where various women all nod at each other, as Michelle talks about wanting what we can't have. Preach it, crazy lady!













Comments