At the end of the day, they're two great guys who anybody would be lucky to have," she says, and then she trots back off into the Maynardplex and we get a little closer to the sweet release of post-Bachelorette. And I'd just like to say that as the father of a daughter, should there come a time where some douchebag asks me for my blessing, I will say that it's up to my daughter, but if TWO DOUCHEBAGS ask me for my blessing, I will suggest all three of them work their shit out first and leave me alone with my whisky.
And now Emily is telling us the best-case scenario is that her family tells her which guy to marry, and every single one of her useless relatives tell her not that IT'S UP TO HER but that THESE GUYS ARE BOTH SO AWESOME THAT THEY CAN'T CHOOSE EITHER.
And Dave tells her that he doesn't believe you can be in love with two people at the same time, and Emily is all, "I know" and Dave nails her by telling her that that means she's in love with one of them but not the other, and Emily is all, "Well, we've got two hours to fill" and starts blathering about how you can love people in different ways, and now she is pissed at her family for not telling her who to marry.
And now Emily is crying during an interview because it's been a long day and her family is telling her as diplomatically as possible that this show is all bullshit, and because they can't pick just one guy, she's not sure any guy is right for her, or something. It's hard to pay attention, because I'm busy setting up the net of balloons in my living room that will drop when The Bachelorette is over.
And we are reduced to Chris Harrison asking them who's best for Emily, and there are CLEARLY more cheers for "Jef" than Arie, but Harrison bullshits that it's split down the middle.
And now she's having breakfast with Ricki and feeling appropriately guilty about using her daughter as a prop on this awful television show. Or, as she puts it, she's not sure about introducing Ricki to these two guys.