And now there is an evening date, the purpose of which appears to be to reminisce about how awesome the other dates were, or something. I mean, I have gone on ACTUAL DATES that didn't last as long as the time we've spent watching "Jef" and Emily. And now they are making out, and then "Jef" gives Emily a gift, which is a book about Curaçao because they took a big step in their relationship there, or something. That was a few weeks ago, right? I don't even remember anymore. And it turns out that "Jef" has ruined the damn book by scribbling stick figures of him and Emily in all these beautiful pictures, and Emily loves it instead of getting mad that he drew her with one massive boob instead of two massive boobs. And she jokes that it's like Where's Waldo, because let's be honest, it's not like Emily's going to draw any parallels to classic Russian literature or anything. And then Emily leaves or something, I forget.
And now we are back live with the audience o' losers, and Chris Harrison is asking an audience member named "Paisley" I SWEAR TO GOD why Emily digs "Jef" so much and this person who has never met "Jef" says he's "genuine" and then there's a mother weighing in that a man loving you for you is better than a "hot pair of jeans" or something, and then someone says she hopes Emily chooses Arie so the rest of America can have "Jef."
And now we're watching Harrison show up at Emily's villa for a chat about how she knows that "Jef" is everything she's looking for. Chris says he couldn't be happier for her, but there's Arie, so what do they do? Uh, tell him she loves "Jef"? No, first we're going to have to cry about how hard dumping Arie will be on HER. She decides that as much as she loves Arie, she's just in love with someone a little bit more. So romantic!
Then she sobs and I think we're all supposed to feel sorry for, but of everything that Emily has done that I might feel sympathy for her, none of it has happened during her two seasons of this show. My god, you guys, how could she possibly know how to break up with someone? Something that she's done to only twenty-three other guys already this season?