And here's everyone getting ready, Emily trowelling her eye makeup on and "Jef" arranging every single hair strand by strand, both of them providing annoying voiceovers about what's going to happen. Emily's not sure if she'll be able to accept a proposal from "Jef" so you should definitely STAY TUNED.
Emily's wearing some sort of dusty-peach dress while "Jef" has some kind British mobster-or-secret-agent suit on. Instead of the usual setup by the sea, this show appears to have commandeered a town courtyard. Harrison guides "Jef" in, and he walks the steps up the platform to Emily, and they kiss and hug and compliment each other briefly before Emily says, "Well..." drawing laughter from the audience because it sounded like she was saying "Well?" to "Jef" when in reality she was just getting her speech underway and took a long pause, probably because they had to get the cue cards in place off-screen.
Anyway, she tells him he's everything she's waited for for so long, and he's her soul mate, and she loves him, and she didn't even date Arie yesterday (that's so sweet! I'm pretty sure my wife didn't date one of her other boyfriends the day before I proposed either!). And now "Jef" is talking and saying inane things too. "I think God puts the right people in our lives when the timing is just right," says "Jef." God or ABC, right? "I'm so in love with you," he says, adding that if she lets him into her and Ricki's lives, they'll never feel lonely again.
Then he gets down on one knee to propose, and since she dumped Arie they had to go with the "will I accept 'Jef''s proposal?" storyline but obviously that was bullshit, and she says "yes" of course and there is applause from the audience and then that ear-bleeding song from Karate Kid II by Peter Cetera kicks in over a montage of Emily and "Jef" because they will be married forever and ever, and now Ricki is there, and the three of them all walk out of our lives forever. Oh, wait. There's still After the Final Rose.
Daniel is a writer in Newfoundland with a wife and a daughter. Seriously, don't ask MY permission to marry her. Ask her yourself! Follow him on Twitter (@DanMacEachern) or email him at email@example.com.