Apparently there's some sort of competition going on between who can have the most inane conversation: these idiots, or Emily and the two idiots out on the boat. She refers to the "Bermuda triangle" and they talk about whether they're going to get lost in it, like IF ONLY, and then they jump off some cliffs because that's like a good jumping-off point for a relationship or whatever, because every date has to be a metaphor for something for some reason, and not just a reason for Emily to be in a bikini.

And now it's nighttime, and the three of them are having dinner in a cave, but it's the kind of cave that have steps and railings and walkways built into it. Emily toasts a great day and "hopefully a great night."

You can hear every drip off every stalactite while the three of them make awkward small talk, and then the show kinda cruelly gives us Nate pronouncing "quinoa" wrong and Emily and Wolfie not realizing it. He pronounces it the way it's spelled, like all of us do at first when we've only read it and not heard it. I'd feel a little worse for him if he weren't trying to sound like an expert as he talks about what a good fiber it is.

"I get nervous for dates anyway, so a two-on-one date is even more awkward. More pressure," she tells us. Then she pulls Nate aside for some one-on-one time, which he views as a chance to step his game up. He considers himself the "total package," and he wants to show here that.

And Emily is SO bummed about doing this two-on-one date that her first question is how he feels about being on a two-on-one date. "Scintillating" doesn't quite describe the ensuing conversation. Then she asks him to tell her something about himself, and he says he can see himself with her. And then he talks about his brother, who is "literally the most amazing person" he's ever met in his life. And his friends are "like, amazing," and then he is almost crying and Emily thinks this is sweet instead of what it actually is, which is embarrassing for all involved. I picture the camera operators on this show going home and pouring stiff drinks every night to help them cope with all the awfulness they bear witness to.

Later, Wolfie seems a little more practical about the two-on-one date: If they have a connection, that's great; if they don't, then he doesn't have to float in the middle of the pack anymore. Emily says she likes John's confidence, and it is certainly preferable to John being a crybaby.