And so we watched the lead-in to the conversation, and the aftermath of the conversation, but not the actual conversation. Strictly amateur hour, Bachelorette. And now Arie and Emily are at dinner and talking about what a great day it has been and how great it is to "talk about stuff" and they are making out and just when you think this show can't get any dumber, it surprises you.

After a conversation among the men that makes as good a case as any for forced sterilization so America's average IQ doesn't drop when these guys sire offspring. John gets a date card and Chris tells us how badly he wanted to go all Hulk because it made him so mad but he didn't want the other guys to see him lose control. The date card says something about -- oh, I don't know. Penicillin.

Emily and Arie are talking about the hometown dates, like they haven't even happened and they're already boring. And there is all kinds of noise, like the camera is beside the restaurant dishwasher or something, which really enhances Arie telling Emily that he loves her and it's kinda crazy and "there's a lot on the line with my heart," and then they are making out again, and it's pretty amazing that the fact that Emily met a woman who Arie briefly dated ten years ago didn't derail their TOTALLY REAL AND FOREVER relationship.

This is John's first one-on-one date. Maybe because he's almost criminally boring? Emily explains that John's trump card of getting choked up over his long-dead grandparents has worn off. What have you revealed to her lately, John?

They ride some barge down the river and talk about John's guard being up, and they visit the John Lennon wall. "During communism, music was censored here," Emily explains. She's getting better at reading the off-camera cue cards with facts about their current locations, you guys!

And these two idiots want to compare the struggle of a repressed people to the time they kissed on a boat, or something. And now there is a fence where people write messages and initials on a lock and then lock it around the fence, because that solidifies their love, or some bullshit. John struggles to get the lock closed, which Emily thinks is symbolic because they haven't really connected. Of course, if he'd clicked it shut right away, she probably would have seen that as symbolic of how locked-up he is.

Back at the hotel, Arie and "Jef" and Chris have a mind-meltingly stupid conversation about the connection they all have with Emily, with Chris acting like being separated from Emily is making him crazy.