And then she goes and gives the rose to Sean, and Chris actually says it's "insulting" that she's more ready to meet Sean's parents than his. To be fair, Chris, to meet Sean's parents she doesn't have to climb out to an aerie in the mountains. Chris completely checks out of the date. He tells us that if he doesn't get a hometown date, he feels sorry for anyone around him. Jesus, he's insufferable. Chris, here's a tip: announcing that you plan to lose control means you won't actually be losing control but just being an even bigger douche than normal while pretending you're not responsible.

The next day, Emily shows up to pick "Jef" up for their date. Chris, unsurprisingly, seems to take that personally too.

Oh, goody, it's another aimless wandering-around date! Emily and "Jef" walk into a marionette shop. Emily informs us that she thinks "Jef" is -- despite what the other guys think -- ready to be a dad, because he's just a big kid himself. Emily offering "just a big kid himself" as the best reason she can think of to prove someone is dad material is one of the saddest things I've ever heard her say. And things only get more awkward when they play with a Michael Jackson marionette (I think they keep it with the little boy marionettes). "Jef" rather impressively makes the Michael Jackson doll moonwalk, so give him credit for that. Also earning him credit: When they each get a marionette to represent themselves, "Jef" ducks back into the shop to get a little marionette for Ricki.

Emily tells us she feels she's worked hard to get "Jef" to notice her. Uh, Emily, you're literally the only woman he's allowed to date right now. Red flag!

They walk into an incredible library, stuffed with books too many to count, but not enough to record every time "Jef" says "like" or Emily says "I know, right?" Emily figures, what better place to put on a marionette show detailing the highlights of their relationship! What better place than a library? How about EVERY PLACE. Also, maybe save the marionette reenactment for after the overnight dates.

The next few minutes may be the most insipid thing we've seen on The Bachelorette in some time. Two adults using puppets to put on a drama in which they both speak like 13-year-olds (which I suppose is accurate for them). And then they kiss.