Bachelorette
Season 8, Episode 7

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Where The Streets Have No Shame

And now they are kissing, so I guess everything worked out.

Back at the hotel, the next date card arrives. It's a group date, for Sean, Doug and Chris. Chris is extra-pissed. Sean appears to think Chris is crumbling under the pressure. John strolls in to explain that the date went extremely well. Like, on a scale of 1 to 10, it's a 10, he says. That's because he's a closer.

And now Sean is just wandering around Prague yelling Emily's name? What is going on here? He says if he doesn't find her in the streets of Prague, he'll be devastated. I'd like to point out that Prague has more than a million people. And then he ... finds her? Is she just wandering the streets of Prague? "I really had to jog around the town to find you," he tells her. Prague is nearly five-hundred square kilometres. They kiss and go out for beers and kiss some more, and how pleasant this must be for everyone. And now they are making out in an alley again. Emily says "me" about a hundred times as she explains how awesome Sean is. It's because he's always thinking about her, or whatever. And he's way more excited about the group date, since now he'll be the only one on the group date who had his tongue in Emily's mouth the night before.

The next day, as Emily meets up with the three group date losers, we're subjected to more of Chris's spectacularly pathetic whining about not getting to be alone with Emily. Then, as they wander around an old castle, Doug rambles on about how great it is, and how much his son would love the castle.

And then Emily is telling us what a great guy Doug is, but she's not sure there's a connection there. She says she was going to send him home last week, but decided she couldn't do it. So this group date is a test, because of course it is.

Doug and Emily sit down to talk about getting to know each other, and Emily says Doug's body language indicates he doesn't want to sit next to her, let alone kiss her. "If Doug doesn't want to sit next to me now, he's never going to want to. And now I know what I have to do," she tells us.

So she walks him outside, in the pouring rain, to put a bullet in his head. But first we're all going to feel like putting a bullet in our own. "I feel like I've been fighting for you, and I've wanted you to show me, 'Hey, I'm really into you,'" she tells him. To us, Doug says he acknowledges having a hard time reading Emily.

He seems to realize that he's getting the heave-ho and throws a Hail-Mary kiss into her face, and she's all, "Thank you for that." It's the end of the line for Doug. He feels stupid for having kissed her. Hey, you're already on The Bachelorette. He quickly gives her a hug, and with a "have a good one," he's off in the van, talking about how his "girl radar" is broken, and now he is moaning about how hard it is to meet someone as a single dad, and now he is crying. I think his dignity radar is broken too.

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Bachelorette

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