John leaves, telling us he didn't see it coming. "She kept wanting more, wanting more, wanting more. So I gave her more. I shared things with her that I don't share with a lot of people," he said, adding that he was expecting to bring her home.
He figures he'll find someone some day, and stays tear-free. Sadly, though, he won't be able to have any coffee. Because as we all know, coffee is for closers.
Daniel is a writer in Newfoundland with a wife and a daughter. If the Bachelorette drinking game didn't have the rule "Drink whenever Emily says 'y'all,'" he'd still be alive today. Follow him on Twitter (@DanMacEachern) or email him at firstname.lastname@example.org.