So let's fast-forward to the Rose Ceremony. That means if Emily shared some particularly revealing insights about someone opening up to her, or becoming vulnerable, or any of the unceasingly tedious things she says during these chats, I missed it.

Three roses, four guys. "I missed y'all very much, this week," Emily says when she struts out in front of the lineup of the four guys in dark suits. She for some reason explains that she's basing her decision tonight on where she sees the future going with each of them. Isn't that what she should be doing every week?

Anyway, Arie gets the first rose, and you'd have to be a moron to not know the next one is going to "Jef" so she can hesitate over whether to choose Chris or Sean. Not that it's a surprise (even for someone who doesn't know about Bachelor Pad, which is a blissful state of existence no longer an option for me) when she eventually picks Sean.

Chris bro-hugs the other guys, before going outside with Emily to sit on a bench. "I don't know what to say," she says, and he tells her he's not too shocked. But he asks for an explanation anyway. She doesn't have one, and then says she felt her other relationships were growing stronger, faster.

"I don't understand," says Chris, who reminds her that he said he loved her, and how much faster could it get than that? He makes a "whatever" face, and she gets a little scowly and then eye-rollingly says she wishes he could see how hard it has been for her. I can only imagine being dumped by someone who then wants me to feel sorry for her for HOW HARD IT WAS TO DUMP ME.

Anyway, he says goodbye with a peck and a hug and is banished to the exit limo. He says it's hard to say goodbye to someone you love. "Everything seemed like it was perfect," he says, adding that he "loved the girl" and he thought she loved him back.

Fortunately, Emily's got three guys left who are still willing to comfort her over how hard it is to dump people, which they'll be doing in Curacao next week.

In the limo, Chris has moved on to slagging the other guys, saying he's ten times the man any of the dudes back there are. "She did break my heart. I still don't understand," he says. Chris gets credit for this, though: No tears.