Bachelorette
Bachelorette

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Daniel: F | 257 USERS: C+
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You Don't Have to Go Home, but You Can't Stay Here

And now they are in a hot tub making out, and Emily tells us that Sean is so hot and so manly, so every fiber in her heart and (probably) boobs tells her to stay the night, but her head says no.

And then she is kissing Sean goodnight, and her reasoning is that she's a mom, and it would go against everything she believes in -- she's against premarital sex now? -- and she wants to set a good example for her daughter, which is weird to hear from something who decided to come on The Bachelorette.

And now it's time for "Jef" to spend some time with Emily. He's one-hundred percent that he wants to be with her, but he's not one-hundred percent that it's going to work out. Yes, the presence of two other men does seem to constitute an obstacle.

They are going to spend the day on a boat, and "Jef" seems to find the presence of a boat "amazing" -- it's an island country, "Jef" -- and now they are on a boat but you can barely hear the inanities they are spewing at each other over the wind. He says his parents now want to meet her after hearing about Emily from his fifty brothers and parents. And then he says "I love parents" and "I love hanging out with parents" like WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT and now she is talking about how she could keep him out of trouble and how he can get her INTO trouble sometimes, which constitutes some kind of balance or something. I don't know, maybe "Jef" is going home tonight. He won't see it coming, because he seems some kind of "masterpiece being painted," and I think if anyone is painting a picture of what's going on here, it's Hieronymus Bosch. He prattles on about how the sun is setting, but his life with Emily is just starting.

At some point, it becomes dinnertime. "Jef" tells us the only thing he doesn't know about Emily is what it's like to spend time with her and Ricki, which means he's going to score some more sensitive points with Emily at dinner by asking about her. He refreshingly asks her where she'd want to live. Somewhat unsurprisingly, she says she doesn't expect him to move to Charlotte, but she'd be happy to move to Salt Lake City, because that's where he is.

Bachelorette

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