Bachelorette
Season 8, Episode 9

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Daniel: F | Grade It Now!
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You Don't Have to Go Home, but You Can't Stay Here

But let's get on with it! She picks up the first rose and twirls it around because we still have TWO HOURS to fill. Eventually, she says "Jef," who gladly accepts. And we are spared Harrison coming out to explain there's only one rose left. Emily picks it up, and eventually says "Arie." Sean looks gutted. And stubbly.

Emily covers her face with her French manicure while Sean keeps licking his lips. He hugs Arie, hugs "Jef," and then takes Emily's hand as she walks him out. "That's gotta be so tough," "Jef" whispers to Arie.

Emily and Sean sit down on a park bench. After a long silence, Sean says he doesn't know what to say. "What are you thinking about?" she asks him. He says he feels kinda stupid, because he knew he was ready to spend forever with her, and he didn't see it coming. Her eyes are welling up, and then she starts bawling. Doesn't he know that it's much harder for her to dump him than it is for him to be dumped? She squeaks out some foolishness about how she wanted it "to be him" so badly, which OBVIOUSLY ISN'T TRUE, and he magnanimously says if this is what's best for her, then it's OK, and he makes his way to the SUV of Broken Hearts. They hug, and he whispers, "I love you" one final time, which he probably should have kept in check.

Eventually, in the SUV, Sean says that when Emily walked out for the Rose Ceremony, he honestly thought to himself, "That's my wife." He had all week to think about it, and not once did he think he would be going home. "I want to love someone with every ounce of my being," he says. Yay, Sean for not crying! Emily sits back on the bench to sniffle and sob and provoke zero empathy from anyone watching anywhere.

Daniel is a writer in Newfoundland with a wife and a daughter. He's glad Emily can feel better about herself for not sleeping with three guys this week. Now everyone can hold their heads up high! Follow him on Twitter (@DanMacEachern) or email him at danieljdaniel@gmail.com.

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