And now we are getting a Bachelor Pad commercial, and since I am recapping that next week, I see no reason to discuss it now, except to point out that Bachelor Pad makes The Bachelorette look like Masterpiece Theatre in comparison. Also, I think Americans should be concerned that the nationwide supply of penicillin will be seriously depleted once Bachelor Pad ends its run later this summer. There aren't many shows that make me say, "You know, apocalypse wouldn't be so bad," but Bachelor Pad is one of them. Also, the previews make it look like someone gets murdered? So I suppose there's an upside.

So about half-an-hour later, once the Herpes Pad promo has ended, Harrison introduces the men who have returned, some of whom, like that dodgy "Joe" go, clearly have never been on the show before. We have Randy, Aaron, Joe, Charlie, Stevie, Alessandro, Travis, Nate, Michael, Alejandro, Kalon (who gets some boos), Ryan (who doesn't get enough boos), Doug, John, Tony, Chris and Sean (who gets the biggest cheers). Half the guys have that "we are contractually obligated to be here" look on their faces.

Harrison asks Sean about being the first out of the limo, and Sean talks about how Emily looked like a goddess. Sean's sincerity appears to ensure he has his pick of at least half the crowd here tonight. John, who appears to be wearing pink pants, says some stuff about Sean being first out of the limo too, and now Travis is talking about his egg, and the self-deprecation is fine, except he's the last one at that party.

Someone brings up Kalon's helicopter and Harrison interrupts because that's not in the script yet, and then kicks it to a montage of all the drama that occurs when you throw "one hot blonde" in front of twenty-five assholes (N.B. he didn't call them assholes). "The man claws are definitely out," says Kalon at one point. We revisit Chris being annoyed at Doug's completely true statement that a guy at 35 is different from a guy at 25. On the plus side, we see Arie's DougHulk impression again. We get a Ryan-may-actually-be-a-genius-performance-artist montage, as well as the sly juxtaposition of Ryan thinking all the guys are his friends with all the guys hugging and high-fiving after he was kicked out.