Bachelorette

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Get Him a Body Bag!

Chris Harrison comes out to threaten us with something they wouldn't even do at Abu Ghraib -- sit and chat with the scorned bachelors. He introduces them all, while people who seriously need to get lives cheer for each one.

Chris asks Richard about what that first night was like, and Richard talks about how quickly jaws dropped when they saw DeAnna. Twilley talks about -- I don't even know what. Whatever Twilley generally talks about, that's what he talked about. And then there's Luke, the oyster farmer, who after being let go was all, "All right, I'll go home. No big deal." Heh.

We're subjected to a montage that was hard enough to get through the first time we saw Sean and his mullet kick a glass off that guys head, and then Ryan the smug virgin and Ron having the nerve to criticize Jeremy's tact, which leads into the Jeremy-as-asshole montage.

"Only guys would high-five each other after calling someone a d-bag," says Chris after Jeremy and Twilley slap-five and make up. Ryan starts to talk about how he wasn't there just to win DeAnna like Jeremy was, as opposed to the other guys. I guess, who were hoping to lose. P.S.: nice soul patch, Ron.

Chris invites Jeremy up on stage to the "hot seat" to ask him about the target on his back, and Jeremy says that he's not two-faced, in that he wasn't different for the guys than he was with DeAnna. All the guys pile on with how they thought the guys were pretty much there to hang out, is how I understand it. The lone exception is Brian, who says that as they talked to him, they understood that Jeremy is a genuine guy, but things didn't always have to be so confrontational. There are a few people who can take the blame for the confrontations with Jeremy; I don't think Jeremy is one of them, though.

Ron talks completely incoherently about how, when you're in a group, sometimes someone doesn't have a skill, and you have to learn the skill, and he laughably tries to take the high road by saying the guys weren't there to win a prize, like DeAnna's a "piece of meat." Except that because he doesn't seem to realize that DeAnna didn't have to spend all that time with Jeremy, it's hard to throw a sexist tag on Jeremy. I have no idea what he's talking about. And I'd like to point out that if the guys were all supposedly there just to hang out, and Jeremy broke that unwritten rule, then every time one of the bachelors told DeAnna how they were there for her and were there for the right reasons? All bullshit. Then Ron manages to straight-facedly tell Jeremy not to be afraid to get back out there, how they still want him to be part of the group. Ron seems to forget that there's no more group anymore.

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Bachelorette

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