Bachelorette

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Get Him a Body Bag!

Jeremy asks, "When did you know that I was not the one for you?" He wants to know, given that she gave him a pimpvitation. She says it wasn't until she went on the dates with Jason and Jesse and realized she was in love with them. "Ouch," says Jeremy, and DeAnna does her best to make Jeremy's pain indicative of what a hero she is for holding her head up while she stabs guys in the heart. Apparently, it was hard because it could have been too good. "I wanted there to be something there so badly," she says. "Me too," says Jeremy, gallantly not pointing out all the times DeAnna said there was something there. I don't know how anyone's head doesn't just explode from all the lying she's doing. Jeremy says no more, and Harrison lets the awkward silence hang for a few moments.

As for Graham? She doesn't accept his explanation that he opened up as much as he could have. She says she second-guessed her decision after she dumped him, but not now. This prompts some "oooooh"s from the audience, and Graham jokes about not being able to hear what she's saying now, because he's still reacting to that harsh comment she just said. He and DeAnna bicker at cross-purposes, because DeAnna doesn't know the difference between "deny" and "decline." "You guys are so perfect together, but you would kill each other," says Harrison. Really, Harrison? Man. I can hardly believe that someone involved with The Bachelorette would have such a warped view of what "perfect" love looks like.

Another life-needer, this one named Rebecca, asks DeAnna if anything romantic happened between her and the other guys while she was staying in the mansion. Rebecca's shiny face tells us that she's way too emotionally invested in this show. I feel ill right now.

DeAnna admits that someone did try to sneak in her room and give her a kiss. Who was the potential rapist? That would be Jeremy! But he wasn't alone. Paul did take a bubble bath in DeAnna's tub, while she wasn't there. "That was the only way I was getting in there," says Paul.

"No doubt you gave 100 percent in your search for love," Chris tells DeAnna, adding that she expected the same from the guys. This, of course, is leading in to more painful memories of DeAnna's temper tantrum at the barbecue.

"Tough to watch?" asks Chris. DeAnna says it is. Finally, I agree with something DeAnna says! Chris asks Sean, of all people, if her behavior was justified, and he says it was. She's already dumped you, Sean; quit sucking up.

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Bachelorette

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