Bachelorette

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Bros Before Hos and Common Sense

And then Sasha launches into a diatribe about Jake being really canned and sounding like a soap opera character when he talks about other girlfriends looking for something to fix in him and freaking out when they can't find anything, and he earns a sixty-percent good-natured "fuck you, Sasha," from Jake, adding, "How perfect is that?" And the audience seems at first to be confused about whether they should be applauding this or not. Answer: you should not be applauding. You should be covering your faces in shame for being there. Michael Stag then stands up for Jake by pointing out that Jake doesn't ever have a bad word to say about anything, and that's really boring so that must be why we're going to a commercial break now.

So David, your thoughts on Juan? "I always felt he was being fake in front of the camera and Jillian," he says, adding that he didn't hang out with the guys, but when the cameras were around he would change into his jeans and grab a beer and then start hanging out. And then David says "man code," and Harrison asks about the man code which David ironically calls an "unspoken" code of conduct that involves not sleeping with a friend's ex-girlfriend. What does that have to do with Juan? Thank god Harrison points out that the show itself is a violation of the man code, then, "because you're all fishing in the same pool." And then David talks about being from different part of the country.

Harrison asks Juan about it, and he says his man code is about being a gentleman, which doesn't include getting drunk and being belligerent and tugging at Jillian. Mike Steinberg sticks up for Juan by pointing out that all the rest of them were jocks who hung out in frat-houses and whatever, and Juan didn't. And then the drinking thing comes up again, the whole faking of the shot, and the guys seem to think that Juan should have just said he wasn't a big drinker. Juan says he drank half of the shot in question (David rolls his eyes), but didn't want to get all sloppy drunk. And one of the dudes is all, "then just explain that!" and Harrison, who is being mostly awesome tonight, exasperatedly says, "Why would he have to explain it? Who gives a crap?"

Robby says he was the only one who stood by David when he called Juan out, like that's something to be proud of, and he says all the other guys talked crap about Juan but are saying nice things about him now, which I don't imagine is actually true, and it goes on for a long time, and Harrison points out that David threatened violence. David says when he says he wants to beat someone's ass, that doesn't mean he actually wants to kill him or anything. Well, that's a relief. Juan says he was prepared to come on the show, prepared to try to win Jillian's heart, but he wasn't prepared to have some of the guys focus on him so much in a negative way.

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Bachelorette

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