Despite the fact that we have spent the last hour talking about Justin and how much everyone hates him and how he wasn't there for the "right reasons" and how he had at least one girlfriend, maybe two, and refused to come on the reunion show, NOW we get to officially talk about Justin. Yay? First we get a recap of what a tool Justin is. Here's my recap (again). Shorter version: Justin climbed through the shrubbery on one leg to escape public humiliation and failed. Then Craig mounts a huge defense of himself claiming that despite rumors to the contrary, he is not an extension of Justin's family, he is not friends with Justin, they don't talk on the phone. Uh... what rumors? Who cares? Who is thinking about this? Frankly, I am not thinking about Justin about as much as I am not thinking about Craig R. I am certainly not thinking about whether or not they are talking to each other. So the men all talk about how much they hate Justin, how Justin is evil, how they all knew he was cheating on Ali (a girl he was not actually dating) and how he was nothing but a big old famewhore. While we should be done with this subject, we are not. Because ABC needs to stretch this into a solid two hours, because ABC has nothing better with which to fill this time slot. So Chris Harrison brings Ali's "friend," ex-Bachelorette Jessie, out on to the stage to explain how she knew that Justin was a Cheaty McCheatypants. (By the way, I'm going to call it now: Jessie is going to be the next Bachelorette. What, you were thinking Vienna? Ha!) So Jessie lays out the whole sordid scandal. In short, Justin's girlfriend Facebooked her fellow Canadian, Jessie, claiming that Justin was her boyfriend. Jessie did some Nancy Drew role-playing and decided that Jessica's claims were true. Also, she was pretty sure that if she believed the claims were true it would get her back on American television. So she reported it, and the producers thought it would be neat if Jessie called her fake BFF Ali in Istanbul to out Justin. Wacky hijinks, shrub hopping and masculinity questioning ensued. Chris Harrison asks the audience what they think and, sure enough, they think Justin is a big old meany! Shocking, I know.
Episode Report CardLuluBates: D- | 818 USERS: C+
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