Bachelorette
Bachelorette

Episode Report Card
Djb: B | 441 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Uncontrolled Substances

Trista and Russ? Hate each other. It's like they went through a whole relationship without ever having a relationship, and now they're in the middle of this awful breakup without "the good times" as a buffer or a point they can return to for solace. There were no "good times." They've known each other for exactly six minutes. And Russ did rewrite history a bit way back in his hot seat days, and Trista sets it right immediately: "You said that when were in the Fantasy Suite, you decided it wouldn't be a good idea. Something to that effect. And I specifically remember making that decision, that I was going to go back to my own hotel room." Russ squirms in horror, retorting that "there was nothing romantic" about his decision to go back to her room. Oh, sure. Because the so-called "Fantasy Suite" has nothing to do with sex. The "Fantasy Suite" is actually a place where "fantastical" things happen, where hobbits run free, and the future of a lurking grue's fate can be decided with merely the simple throw of two ninety-sided dice. Russ deems them "friends," which is also something people cling to when a non-relationship falls apart precipitously and they need to make their physical connection significant. That's even worse than wanting to be friends with someone because you don't find them attractive; that's wanting to be friends with someone because you don't understand why they don't find you as attractive as you thought they did. Wow. That's really depressing.

Bachelorette

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