It's Bob's turn in the hot seat, because America needs to be reminded that it still knows how to love a hero. The crowd goes into paroxysms of joy as Bob walks onto the stage. Before he's allowed to sit down, Chris indicates Bob and does the spokesmodel wave over him, asking, "What happened to the rest of Bob?" Look. He wasn't overly fat before and he isn't overly skinny now. I'd even venture to say he looks kind of exactly the same as he did on the show. Still, Bob goes where the material is honed: "Now that's a fat joke." Chris tells us that -- despite the fact that we ignorant viewers knew Bob merely as "funny" and "popular" -- "there's a serious side to Bob." Wait. More than one emotion making up a person's total self? It's unheard-of! He must have dementia or perhaps an imbalance of the bodily humors! How can both "funny" and "serious" live in tandem in the mind of one man without driving him mad? Perhaps his excess of emotional capacity is what resides in his ample gut. We're treated to a montage of what Chris calls "Deep Bob," which begins with his dance from the first episode, a clip which is followed by Trista in interview telling us, "Bob just has this amazing sense of humor. He cracks me up. I love that!" Didn't love it enough, though, didja? DIDJA? Whatever. We've all gone for hot over normal at one time or another. I'm with you, Trista. But I'm never going back there. More clips of Bob's hilarity, and of Bob getting chosen for Rose Ceremony after Rose Ceremony despite enormous ass. I mean odds. Despite enormous odds, I mean. Sorry. We then see Bob getting thrown over for Greg in the hunt for the final rose. Greg, will you accept this nose candy? A seen-for-the-first-time interview finds Trista telling us, "I could see him being my best friend, but not necessarily the person I could marry." Zowch. That's gotta sting. I guess she didn't get up to the "It's not you it's me" chapter of Lines to Dump Guys You Won't Believe! And Neither Will He book she keeps on her nightstand. Chris notes this as well, calling "the 'F' word" "the worst word a guy could ever hear." Bob adds, "A fat friend." If you keep drinking from it, Bob, that well will soon be empty. Chill out on the fat jokes. Go find lunchmeats funny for a while. Or foreign films. Or airplane peanuts, the differences between men and women, or curling. You are obviously a superlatively amusing individual. Harvest it. Just don't harvest it, add polyunsaturated fat, and eat it. You're better than this one note. Get out there and play another note.
Episode Report CardDjb: B | 441 USERS: C+
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