This won't take long, but I've got a quick tale
It's about a boy and a girl and a killer whale
It started one night with dinner by the sea
There was you, there was me, and Shamu made three

Nope. Can't. I know he's being "funny" and all that, but it's enough with the "Gotta Get a Gimmick" shtick already. Trista? Loves it. She LOVES it! He won't win.

Russ thanks Trista for the experience in Sedona. Their "fast start" (squicky date rape) has led to some "intense conversations" (hate-filled polemics), which he ultimately thinks will help them "in the future." Trista doesn't even crack a conciliatory smile.

Charlie calls Trista "sweetheart" (that's "Sweetheart Rose" to you, buddy) from the beach in Mexico, reading badly off cue cards, "The feeling that I felt when I woke up that next morning was indescribable." No, no. We were there. We would describe it as "crippling boredom." But here's a hint: the 'e' in boredom is silent! It's an elephant word!

I literally told everyone I knew that I wanted that Trivial Pursuit 20th Anniversary Edition for my birthday. And how many did I get? That's right. But hey, mom? Thanks for the socks.

The three men stand downstairs, as Chris brings in the All of Me plate and puts it on the little stand. He tells the guys, "It's fair to say that all three of you have deep feelings for Trista." He clarifies the rules that someone is going to "say goodbye tonight." Trista descends the stairs, and speeches, "I really hope that you understand that I've been in your shoes and I've stood where you stand." She can't wait to shake that dead weight loose.