You're All I Overthink About

Episode Report Card
Djb: D+ | Grade It Now!
The Biorhythm Method

Oh, but what Ryan says next is much, much better. Trista sits on the edge of the now-empty hot tub as well (what is the matter with you people?), and as they begin smooching, Rhymin' unironically lets us know, "Seeing Trista in the hot tub, it's actually kind of hard...and sometimes, if we're kissing, or if she kisses me or something, that makes it even harder." Tee hee! Raise your hand if you're five! Last one into the empty hot tub is...the only person in the hot tub! Trista pulls away and cackles nervously as Rhymin' asserts his need for a "cold shower or something" and Trista insincerely agrees, "Yeah, me too." Come to think of it, that "Stock Footage Film Festival" blitz of the Space Needle that kicked off this episode is starting to seem more intuitive than ever.

Nighttime, where we learn from Trista that after their non-wet and non-wild romp near the hot tub, they "got ready and went to dinner at the Space Needle." The wha...oh, never mind. The elevator rises phallic-ly to the top, and Trista looks out in awe at the twinkling lights of The Space Needle Parking Lot, The Space Needle Child Care Facility, The Mall Of The Space Needle, and Montana. Rhymin' and Trista arrive at the top, and we find the restaurant completely empty. I guess the rest of Seattle was just as sneeringly unhungry as Trista was earlier and decided to skip dinner completely, seeing as this eatery (along with the slightly lower Space Needle Sky Lobby Café, for those on a budget) is the only culinary choice for miles. At dinner now, Rhymin' is clearly feeling he has an edge as he waxes about his feelings toward a long engagement (though never imagining he's just a few short days away from discovering that his only applicable couplet to that word is "shmengagement"), musing, "If she picks me and she's really gonna commit to the engagement, well then, let's just go ahead and get married." Oy. In sickness and in haste. And back at the table, he admits to her that the hardest part (heh) of this whole process is not knowing how she feels about him. "And it's still hard," he admits (still? That's gotta be a treatable medical condition, dude. And also, that's gotta make it very difficult for you to walk properly), "because things with you that I hope for and that I want to do with you and situations that I look forward to..." Trista asks him what kinds of things and situations he might be referring to, and he kind of adorably admits, "I just want you to be the person in my life, y'know, that I look forward to coming home to." Man. This could just break your heart. Good thing Trista left hers miles below at The Space Needle Coat Check, as she point-blanks in response, "I just don't know if things are going to change." Rhymin' seems dejected, but perks up again shortly when Trista unearths a sealed envelope from her purse, opening it up and reading aloud, "Hello, Trista and Ryan. Hope you're enjoying your stay in Seattle. If you decide to forgo your individual rooms, you can use this key to stay as a couple in our Fantasy Suite." Rhymin' doesn't even let her get though the initial intake of air necessary for reading the card before tossing his spoon into his doesn't-taste-as-good-as-sex ice cream and announcing, "Check, please." See, and he's being very cute, I will admit, but it can be a slight turn-off when you're totally eager and maybe a little oblivious to the fact that the other person isn't nearly into this whole "being with you" thing as you may think she is. I'm starting to see that maybe Rhymin' didn't need any time in the hot tub after all, so wet was he spending his entire date until this point taking a long, soaking swim in Lake Needy.

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