Band of Brothers
Bastogne

Episode Report Card
Heathen: B | 4 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Bastogne

Winters, perched on the upper edge of his foxhole, cracks ice with his knife in an effort to produce enough drops of water to enable a shave. That is dedication. That's the point at which I'd trade my razor for food and embrace my future as a sasquatch. As he spies Roe emerging from the fog, he also hears a suspicious noise behind him and hurriedly whispers for the medic to duck. Winters draws his rifle and points it at a very distant figure, shouting, "Kommen sie hier! Schnell!" Now, my German's a little rusty, but I'm pretty sure he's not offering the man hot strudel. Sure enough, moments later Winters is searching the prisoner's pockets, handing a wad of bandages to Roe for his supply chest.

General McAuliffe, the acting division commander because General Taylor was called to Washington -- not that we've met him, either -- arrives via Jeep to get an update on the battalion's status. Col. Strayer sighs that for every advance one spot makes, another portion of the line gets pushed back; the German artillery is mercilessly firing upon them and they have no aid station to treat the wounded conveniently. Strayer tosses the violin over to Winters, who then fiddles the "Got no ammo, got no clothes, got no food and my baby done left me" blues. He explains that the line is spread so thin that the enemy has wandered across it to, er, relieve their anuses (which is what happened above). "We just can't cover the line," Winters says glumly. Just then, Nixon pokes his hung-over head out of a covered foxhole and slurs, "Morning." He adds to the song by fretting that he paced the line at 0300 and couldn't find the 501st on their right flank, so he plugged the hole with a squad from 2nd platoon. Strayer verifies that there are, in fact, too few people stretched across too much land. Faced with this grim reality, McAuliffe helpfully says, "Hold the line and close the gaps." He goes on to cheer everyone by confirming that yes, the fog makes it impossible to drop supplies to them, and yes, there isn't much backup artillery for them, and yes, there's a whole lot of German shit headed their way. He then actually grabs everyone's morale and blows his nose on it.

Now that everyone's hopes are in the toilet, Roe quietly returns to Winters's foxhole and begs him for a comforting cuddle. Oh, wait, sorry, that was me talking. Apparently, Roe and the medics are short on bandages, and he needs to raid some individual aid kits. He got lost trying to find 3rd battalion to raid its supply chest. Winters has very little to give, but does note, "Get everything you can. You're going to need it."

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Band of Brothers

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