Band of Brothers

Episode Report Card
Heathen: C | 1 USERS: B

An Easy platoon is huddled around a monument, trying to relax. Blithe & The Gang appear. "Look who decided to show up!" Easy's soldiers tease. Liebgott shows off a Nazi flag he stole, nodding proudly at his souvenir. Blithe silently walks through the group and off-camera, while a Sgt. Talbert flashes the funky German poncho he lifted from one of the dead. "My Luger's gonna put you all to shame, when I get it," says someone who isn't Malarkey. So we have two men competing for a Luger. It's a Luger contest. A loogie contest. Ha! The ten-year-old in me is very happy right now.

Blithe plops down next to Perconte, who cheerfully asks how his jump went. "Missed the DZ," Blithe says, referring to the drop zone, in which Easy was supposed to land and find all its members easily and, ideally, intact. But on D-Day, the anti-aircraft fire was so intense that soldiers jumped prematurely or tardily and got separated, scattered to the winds and deposited in odd parts of Normandy. As such, Perconte replies, "That goes without saying," but shoots the emotionless Blithe a look that says, "That's not the only zone he's missing." Trying to perk up the quiet private, Perconte says, "Got any souvenirs to trade?" He pulls up his sleeve to reveal a left arm adorned with five wristwatches. "Still ticking, not like their previous owners," Perconte says jovially. Blithe murmurs that he hasn't pocketed any graft, then asks whether Easy has lost anyone. Perconte's pal, Pvt. NoNametag, chips in that "Burgess took one in the face; Popeye Wynn got picked in the be-hind, but they'll be okay." Blithe monotones that he's glad to hear it. When asked whether he ran into Lt. Meehan, the missing Easy Company CO, Blithe allows a flicker of a reaction -- he's shocked, shakes his head, and asks who's in charge now that Meehan is MIA. NoNametag says Winters is acting CO, with Lt. Harry Welsh running Winters's old platoon.

At that moment, Welsh bellows for his platoon to gather, because Easy is moving out immediately. "It'll be dark soon," he shares. "I want light-and-noise discipline from now on. No talking, no smoking, and no..." and here, I swear he says, "No playing grab-the-fanny with the man in front of you, Luz." That sounds like a pretty great party game, sort of the sexual version of "pin the tail on the donkey." But it's possible Welsh said something about not snagging graft; it was hard to tell. The plan is to take the French village of Carentan. The infantry that landed on Utah and Omaha beaches need a way to link up and proceed as a united front, and Carentan is the most convenient way to connect the dots. "If we fail, the army's stuck on the sands," Welsh intones. "General Taylor is sending the whole division." The chap named Luz, imp that he is, grins and imitates the good General when he says, "Just give me three days and three nights of hard fighting, and you will be relieved!" Everyone laughs. A skinny Spike Jonze type named Hoobler volunteers to be the lead scout; Welsh welcomes Blithe and then orders 1st Platoon to lead the way and says the other two will follow. "Remember, boys," Luz imitates Gen. Taylor. "Flies spread keep yours closed!" The platoon cracks up again, but Blithe maintains his nervous and cheerless disposition, with a new fear of plagues in his privates.

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Band of Brothers




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