Bands on the Run
Atlanta, Part II

Episode Report Card
Mr. Stupidhead: B+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Oh My God. Time For AP To Go Away.

Rebecca is feeling “exhausted.” Everyone else is just “chillin’,” instead of booking a show. Amanda is depressed because she spoke to her mother (who has Parkinson’s, which really sucks, so I feel for her). Chimene apparently doesn’t want to get out of bed, and Rayshele feels like doing her nails. All day. They aren’t much of a band today.

Back with CRACK, where the mechanic has just arrived to re-inflate their tires. Mechanic: “Somebody doesn’t like you guys!” AP: “You’re absolutely right.” Mr. Stupidhead: “You’re absolutely right.” Heh.

In FLICK’s room, Cory and Rex are already drunk. It’s 4:30 in the afternoon. Nothin’ like a little hair of the dog, eh fellas? Anyway, Cory is wondering out loud what happened to Leanne and Esther, to which Fletch replies, “They said you’re a fucking asshole.” Cory: “Pretty much.” Brandin: “If he wants to do that to as many girls as he wants to, it’s none of my business. I think it’s wrong, but they aren’t my girlfriends, so I can’t really speak for him.” Cut to Cory, who’s pretending to jump out the window. Dom: “When you’re sober and they’re drinking, Rex is really funny but Cory is just stupid.” Shot of Cory walking straight into the camera. Dumb-ass.

SOULCRACKER has found a venue with some cancellations called Dottie’s Food and Spirits. I’m psyched. Not. While they’re playing, bunches of people just leave, which I find absolutely delicious. They sound like poo, as is their custom. Some dude in the audience flips the double bird to the camera as we go to commercial.

Okay, so there’s a bonus opportunity. The bands have to go to this place called Backstreet (which is a transvestite club) and get further instructions. Rayshele is the only HARLOW who goes, but the other bands show up in their entirety. The show begins, and the MC (named Charlie Brown) starts doing his/her thing. She starts talking to all the bands, and is actually pretty funny. She goes up to Rex to ask him something, and he freaks out and leaves. Easy there, Rex. It’s a drag queen, not flesh-eating bacteria. Anyway, Charlie announces the bonus opportunity. The bands have to find some tranny named Heather Daniels (who is mighty convincing, I have to say) and bring her up onstage to win the bonus show. Naturally, SOULCRACKER wins. Dominic: “Overachievers, man. Overachievers.” Word, Dom. They really should chill out, don’t you think? Beastie (about Heather Daniels): “The jury is still out on whether or not there was a penis. She had great, big, enormous boobs.” Heh. The man likes his mammaries, folks. Apparently, to complete the bonus, one of the members of the band has to do a drag routine. Unbelievably, it’s Bob who volunteers, and I have to give him props, because it’s actually pretty damned hilarious. He shakes his ass all over and even lets people stuff dollar tips into his clothing (even in the butt-crack). Way to go, Bob. You’ve earned yourself minor redemption for your previous prickitude. You still suck, though. FLICK thinks so, too. They’re out. In SOULCRACKER’s room later, Beastie, Sutton, and Ramsey are all draped over each other with their shirts off, talking about how “macho” FLICK thinks they are and how uncomfortable they were at the club. Yeah, they were, but it was only because you were there, so shut up.

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Bands on the Run

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