Bands on the Run
Columbus, Part II

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Mr. Stupidhead: B | Grade It Now!
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Time To Battle!

Now remember, FLICK is in dead last. The only way for them to save themselves is to sell lots of merch (which we know they’re not going to do) or win the battle of the bands. We’ll see.

Okay, so it’s Friday night in Columbus, and Fletcher is on the phone with Angel, his fiancée. He sounds all depressed, and she knows something’s wrong. He tries to pass it off as being upset about being in last place, which seems to work. Angel has faith that they can win the battle. As do I, but Fletcher doesn’t mention anything about the boffing he was doing the night previous. Not that I really expect him to, but seriously. It’s gonna be on TV, dude. 'Fess up.

So now we get a random flash of all the tour earnings, which read:

FLICK -- $4051
HARLOW -- $4444
DODES -- $4540
POO -- $4538

Sweet! Not. Don’t care. FLICK’s got their work cut out for them.

Time to visit the CRACK camp. Bob (the new guy that you love to hate) is getting into some stupid argument with the boys. It’s the type of argument where everyone is saying the same thing, but nobody is listening to anyone else, so the argument perpetuates itself. Bob thinks the key is to “sell more merch.” Everyone else is more concerned with the battle, which Bobbo the Clown finds kind of irrelevant. Um, not. I mean, they do need to sell merch to win, but they need to play good music also. They’ve got one down. Bob: “We’re gonna come in last at the battle of the bands.” Famous last words, geek.

HARLOW is planning to go out tonight and sing a song with one of the really popular local bands, and possibly promote a little bit for their battle tomorrow. “We’re a bit worried because the girls are out shopping and in true HARLOW style, we’re running a bit late.” Hmm. Cut to a shot of Chimene and Rayshele trying on clothes at a secondhand store. It’s 8:17 PM. Back to Amanda: “If they don’t get here soon we’re in trouble, because we haven’t done any promotion today.” Oops. Maybe you should make clear to them that clothes shopping is probably not their priority right now. Whatever, it's your band.

DODES just received a call from the owner of The Spot (where they just played) and he wants them to play again tonight. Dodes is amped: “Rock 'n' roll!” Riiiiiggghhhhtttt.

FLICK time. Dominic: “We’re gonna go over and set up at this kid’s house. He said there would be over 200 people there.” Nice. House party. So FLICK takes off, hoping to sell “at least 60 CDs.” In the car, Cory thinks they are “right near the Hoover Dam," a mistaken impression which VH1, in true Pop-Up Video style, is quick to correct. Apparently, Cory, the Hoover Dam is 2,000 miles away from Columbus. Waps. So anyway, they show up expecting 200 people and find 3. I’m not kidding. There are literally three people there. So they make up some story about having a gig that they’re gonna go play and “come back when things pick up a little.” Not, that’s such a lie. Cory: “They had their little combo amps set up and their little guitars and they were like, ‘You guys wanna jam with us and stuff?’ Yeah, dude, we’ll jam with you as soon as we’re done leaving here and never coming back.” Bwa ha ha! I’m sorry, but that’s actually really funny. FLICK is out. Fletcher gives a thumbs down and a mouth fart. Hey, at least they all got beers.

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Bands on the Run

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