Bands on the Run
Columbus

Episode Report Card
Mr. Stupidhead: A | Grade It Now!
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Ah, how the tables have turned!

And we’re in Columbus. Rebecca’s trying to get things ready for the show on Thursday.

Bonus! Bonus! There are two fraternities having parties tonight. Each party can accommodate two bands, but the bands have to literally find the frat to book the show. Jo Jo and Josh run around looking for a house, and a car almost hits Jo Jo. He calls the driver a “ballsack,” which tickles me pink.

FLICKERSTICK finds the TKE house and sets up their gig.

Now here comes the really scummy nonsense from the ASSLICKER side. Somehow Slutton is able to get the numbers for both frat houses, and he books shows at both. Not. That is such bullshit. It would be different if they followed the rules and actually went to both houses to book the gig, but they just decided to be jerks, as always. I hate SOULCRACKER. They’re so mean-spirited and lazy. Plus, Beastie. This show would be a lot more fun if they weren’t around. Man, I hope they go down.

HARLOW and FLICKERSTICK catch wind of this little double-booking fiasco, and are none too pleased. Dominic: “I was pissed. I already wasn’t too happy about SOULCRACKER. Now I just want to shove my drumsticks up their asses.” All except for that last part. That was me. DODES also hears about it, and they’re all vexed because they thought they were in cahoots with SOLESLAPPER from the whole “merch swap” idea. But no. SOULCRACKER is a group that consists of jerks. Flat out. Looking out for number one. Ugh. It even turns out that DODES set up the gig at the Lambda house for SOULCRACKER. That sucks. Poor DODES. They’re totally the underdog. But they’re in second, remember.

Okay, I’m sorry, but Heather Locklear needs to stop being on my television, cuz, well, you know, she sucks.

Back at TKE, Rebecca is freaked, because HARLOW can’t play since CRACKERASSJERKBAND double-booked. Bob comes in, and Becks brings it to him: “You guys are double-booked?” Bob: “Uh, yeah.” “Well, you can’t do that!” “Yes we can.” “No way. That’s so lame!” Later, Rebecca mentions that “SOULCRACKER is kinda hard-ass when it comes to this game.” Bob: “We booked these shows fair and square.” Not really, butthole. In fact, you totally cheated, Cheater Von Cheatsuck. So whatever, SUCKSUCKER plays a short set, and sounds like ass. Nobody even cares. Brandin thinks, “They’re so concerned with winning that they aren’t paying attention to what they’re losing in the process.” Right on, Brandin. Don’t even sweat it.

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Bands on the Run

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