Bands on the Run
Memphis

Episode Report Card
Mr. Stupidhead: C+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Beastie's sportin' wood. Sweetness. Not.

Over at the Young Avenue Deli, SOULCRACKER is getting their groove on. Everyone seems to be digging them (they obviously don’t know the whole story), especially the guy with the American flag helmet on. He rules, even though he likes CRACK. In between songs, Sutton says, “Number 73, your turkey club is ready.” Is funny, no?

FLICK is rocking out, and they have a ton of people at their show. Cory: “I was completely blown away by the turnout.” Some girl Dominic met named Jennifer (as if it matters) brings in about fifteen people. They sound great, as they always do.

HARLOW has twelve people in the audience. Waps. Rayshele: “At the show, we only had twelve people, but the people that were there did like us, it was cool.” Chimene: “The only thing that saved us in Memphis was that we had a good show onstage. We had a lot of fun.” Aw. I’m happy for them. They didn’t get a lot of people, but they had fun, and isn’t that all that matters? That and money? Aw, yeah. Dude, Rayshele just smiled. Nice.

Bob: “The deli was great. People were really digging it. We finally got a good crowd.” Beastie’s met a girl with “really big boobs.” Don’t you mean “ba-ba-boobies”? She is actually pretty cute. Talking to Sutton and Ramsey outside, Beastie mentions that if either of them was considering getting boners anytime tonight, that they may as well not bother. He’s got it covered. Cute. Not -- you’re a hog, Beastie. The last thing I need stuck in my head is the image of Beastie sporting wood down below. Yech. Gross. “Her boobs and my boner were working against my morals.” And my taste. And my appetite. Shut up, Beastie. Oh, and nice fake moustache. What the hell?

Time to hear the final scores for Memphis:

Ticket Sales:
FLICK -- $316
HARLOW -- $84
CRACK -- $330 (Damn.)

Merch:
FLICK -- $180
HARLOW -- $215
CRACK -- $431 (Dammit!)

Total Tour Earnings:
FLICK -- $5382
HARLOW -- $6008
CRACK -- $6650 (DAMMIT!)

Something new and different. Not. When is CRACK gonna bite it already? Crap!

Everyone feels pretty much defeated. Cory: “If we try harder, SOULCRACKER’s gonna try harder. Yeah, we could start busting our ass, but then they’re just gonna play thirty-two shows a day!”

Sutton wants to pass a “no whining” rule. I’m with him. “AP does nothing but bitch about how we have it so bad off.” Yeah, he does. He’s a little bitch.

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Bands on the Run

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