In the SHAKERATTLEANDROLL van, Sutton babbles on about how he really wants to sing the national anthem and how he used to be "jealous" of people that got to sing it. Sutton? Dare to dream a little bigger. His band titters nervously. They know better than to bust on Sutton. I, however, don't care: I'm not in his stupid band. I know lots of famous people have sung the national anthem, and that it's performed before every sporting event and stuff, but! Singing the national anthem. Is. Not. Cool. And it's not cool to be all into it. Hell, every boy band and Jessica Simpson clone out there has done it. Has Weezer? I bet they haven't. So sorry, but I had to say it. SNACKCAKE practices and works out vocal parts and writes down the music and everything, and Beastie sits there smugly and says his band works so hard, and the other bands don't work and aren't focused, and he bets LICKERFLICK is just watching TV. I raise my middle finger to Baba Beastie just as we get a shot of FLICK watching TV. Well, they sure showed me! But I still hate the CRACK. Brandin plays guitar all alone, trying to do an arrangement all by himself. The band doesn't even come with him to watch him sing.
Brandin walks down the hall, not skipping, not clapping, not all happy like he usually is. Even his white belt sags. In the audition, he sings a very sad but pretty rendition of the anthem. The judges clap. No "woo"s. CRACKSOULER are hanging around, licking their chops, grinning hugely. Beastie asks animatedly, "Did you smash your guitar?" What a dick. Brandin hangs out as they go into their rendition, which it kills me to say actually was pretty rockin'. Those fucks! But they did a good job. I still hate them, though! Not getting soft on you! The Miami Heat guys throw them a bone, saying they've heard hundreds of renditions and theirs was great. Okay, SOULCRACKER did a good job, okay? OKAY! Am I fired now? ["No. I liked their rendition too." -- Sars] They totally win it, Brandin says he's "relieved" to not have to do it, and we cut to a hysterical interview with Rex (who is looking quite mad, you know), who says, "Let me tell you a little story about bonus opportunities. THEY SUCK. Pure SHITE." Hee! And the VH-1 censors totally don't catch the word "shite," so it's unbleeped. Heh.