Bands on the Run
Nashville

Episode Report Card
Mr. Stupidhead: B+ | Grade It Now!
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DODES is out, leaving SOULCRACKER with no friends

HARLOW does their country song, and it is horrendous. Rebecca actually has to scream out “chorus” so the others will do the changes right. Regardless, they’re getting their hundred buckaroos. Okay, someone kill me for using the word “buckaroos.” I’m serious, that’s really lame. Rebecca defends herself: “My song may not have been the greatest, but I sang it with my heart, and isn’t that what country music’s all about?” Yes. That, and talent. Talent helps.

FLICK is about to play, and they’ve got some random girl (apparently a local “solo artist,” which I find hard to swallow) to sing backup for the Mazzy Star song. The song sounds terrible (didn’t I warn you, FLICK?). Whatever; they’re still my favorite band on this show. They better not play that at Brownies, though.

Time to find out how everyone did in Nashville. Brendon and Katina report:

Ticket Sales:
FLICK -- $260
HARLOW -- $162
CRACKHO -- $132

Merchandise:
FLICK -- $265
HARLOW -- $153
SOULCRACKER -- $174

CRACK and HARLOW get $100 extra for their country tunes.

Totals:
FLICK -- $4886
HARLOW -- $5509
CRACK -- $5738 (Not! Why are they still winning!?!)

Chimene tells Beastie that originally HARLOW hated AP, but now they realize the anger was all misdirected. “We only hate Bob.” Beastie of course reveals this to Bob in the van. Bob: “I’m hated?” Like it’s such a surprise, buttlock. “What a bunch of whores!” Yeah, Bob, you’re just a pontiff of purity. Get a life, dude. When you start playing your own shows, then you can bitch. But for now, just shut up. “I just can’t believe it when people are nice to me up front, then talk shit about me behind my back.” As if they don’t have reason -- and furthermore, Chimene did talk shit to your face, and you condescended to her, so what. Ever. Everyone else plays fair, why can’t you? Are you above it? Shut up, Bob. You too, Beastie. Your Captain Righteous act is tired and transparent. Give it up.

That’s it for this week.

Next week, it’s Memphis, baby! More beef between and HARLOW and CRACKER (who get to play Bally’s, those bastards). El Dangeroso makes a triumphant return, Reyshele seems to think she is being used as a novelty (?), and there’s a-boffin’ goin’ on in FLICK’s bathroom once again. Let’s just hope it’s not Fletcher. Or, let’s hope it is. Tee hee!

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Bands on the Run

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