Bands on the Run
San Francisco

Episode Report Card
Mr. Stupidhead: B | Grade It Now!

Okay, so get this. SOULFLAPPER is sitting in the car, listening to the radio. "Hmm," they say. "What's this, 92.7? I like this radio station. I think we should be on it!" Next moment, Bob is on the horn with them securing an interview that will take place in one hour. I'm sorry, but shit like this just doesn't happen. "Oh, hi, yeah, I have a band. We play music. Can you put us on the radio in, like, an hour? Yeah? Sweet." Not. Anyway, they have to be in San Jose in an hour for the interview, which is during rush hour. Lucky devils.

You know what? I know that Seinfeld is now on FOX. It's screwed up my entire Simpsons cycle. Stupid FOX.

So, FLICKER-THESE-GUYS-ARE-JERKS-STICK are covering all of SOULCRACKER's flyers with their own. What jerks. Brandin: "Sorry, SOULCRACKER. We were here second." Yeah, Brandin. Fair's fair. Butthole.

All three bands get pages from Bay TV, a local television show. The first band to call back gets to play on the show for publicity. FLICKERDICK gets the gig. Good for them, I say. But here comes the buzzkill: Their manager pages Dominic again and tells him to have Cory call his mom. Cory: "I could tell as soon as I started talking to her that something had happened. Then she told me that my dad had died and it was like I got hit, in the chest, with a sledgehammer. I hadn't talked to my dad in about five years, mainly because I didn't call him." Cory starts crying. "He probably needed me, and I wasn't there." Um, well, he didn't call you either. The phone works two ways, dude. I'm just sayin'. Anyway, the rest of the band tries their best to console Cory, to little avail. Now Cory looks pissed and sad. Hmm.

We're outside with SOULCRACKER, where they encounter some crazy-ass woman (sans panties, I might add) who offers to do a "nice dance" for a dollar. The dance is much less than nice, and the boys run away. She tries to chase after them. They win. Heh. Anyway, they're going to do some karaoke in town. Sutton uses the opportunity to announce not only that he has trouble singing in falsetto, but to get the four townies there to come to their gig. Not a huge success. Some girl invites them back to her house (?), but they use the heads on their shoulders to decide they probably shouldn't. Beastie: "We all love sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll, but you have to work first, and that stuff all comes later." Some really drunk girl gets into the shot and starts shrieking about singing a Prince song. Chill, girly. "Raspberry Beret" isn't going anywhere. The band is Audi 5000.

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Bands on the Run




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