I wish they would change the opening. DODES has been off for almost two months. Do we really need that same shot of Daryl laughing week after week? No. We don’t.
No shots of bands waking up this time. Just Brendon and Katina. Apparently, they are in the mood to go over the bands’ earnings once again. Here we go:
FLICK -- $6529
HARLOW -- $8388
SHITSPLATTER (you like that one, don’t you?) -- $8959
Why do they have to win? They totally don’t deserve it. But whatever.
Brendon and Katina mention that the next battle of the bands is happening in three days. The band that wins gets immunity from exile. You know all this. The only way to get CRACK out of the way is for FLICKERSTICK to win the battle and HARLOW to outsell them. HARLOW is pretty lazy, though, so let’s not hold our collective breath. The next town is Tampa. Woooo! Spring break, Tampa! Wooooooo!
FLICKERSTICK also has their doubts about HARLOW’s ability to overcome “the selling machine” (tm Brandin) otherwise known as SOULCRACKER. Cory: “If they were smart, they would try to sell as much merch as possible. They should play a couple of shows, too.” Cory, do you know them at all?
The bands are on their way. Sutton wants to sound “significantly different from the other bands.” Don’t worry, dude. Nobody sucks quite like you guys do.
It pretty much seems like HARLOW has given up at this point. They seem really apathetic and kind of ready to go home. This frustrates me. It seems to me that they have a duty to fulfill, and they’re just gonna sit around and wait to get kicked off. That sucks. I want them to buck up and beat BUTTSLAPPER. It really wouldn’t take that much effort. They’ve been able to sell when it came down to it. Why not now? Boo.
As soon as they get into town, CRACK naturally heads straight to their venue. Before they go in, everyone is already anticipating AP opening his big yapper with a bunch of “check it outs” and “cools” and whatnot. Everyone seems pretty fed up with him, which I suppose is understandable. He sucks. Beastie: “AP’s attitude towards business is abrasive to the rest of the band. When he’s talking to someone who could help us out and he’s all ‘Check it out, you have to do this,’ that’s just not cool.” Word, B-Man. You guys should just kick him out and have you play bass instead. At least then you’ll have something to do onstage, aside from undulating, seizure-like. Sutton: “He’s gonna have such a huge, annoying ‘check it out.’” Probably.
HARLOW is feeling “fatigued.” What a bloody surprise. Oh, wait, I screwed up. It’s actually not all that surprising, because they are always in bed eating room service. How are they all so skinny? All we really see them do is lie around and eat, with an occasional show thrown in the mix somewhere. It doesn’t add up. ["I would say 'heroin,' but I don't get that vibe from the girls. They do eat a lot, though, not that there's anything wrong with that." -- Sars]